Simply put, if these actors are in a movie, it's going to be bad. Don't say we didn't warn you.

<strong>3. Nicole Kidman</strong>- She was good when she was bad (Malice, To Die For). But that damn prosthetic nose and the Oscar/deviated septum that came with it (The Hours) seem to have soured her on any role that requires anything more than a Kewpie-doll grin and overmoisturized curls. A prime age-badly candidate.

<strong>2. Kevin Costner</strong>- Mr. Dances With Wusses’ next role, in Mr. Brooks, is described thusly by our pals at IMDB: “An insatiable serial killer, so lethally clever that no one has ever suspected him…until now!” Truth be told, it’s been quite some time since we associated Costner with anything but death and decay. He’s the cinematic equivalent of Penny Hardaway: fast out of the gate (The Untouchables, No Way Out, Bull Durham) before a downward plummet so steep and severe as to taint our memories of what came before.

<strong>1. Matthew Broderick</strong>- Ferris Bueller could’ve benefited from a solid cock-punching or two along the way. Had somebody smothered the smug early on, maybe it could've been possible for some would-be huge blockbusters (Godzilla, The Cable Guy) to not completely tank. After other miserable failures like The Stepford Wives, The Producers, and Deck the Halls, we think it will never be possible for us to associate Broderick with anything other than madcap shtick.

<strong>10. Robin Williams</strong>- It used to be that one could judge a Robin Williams flick based on the depth and thickness of his facial hair. Bearded, as in Good Will Hunting and The Fisher King? Safe for human consumption. Clean-shaven, as in Patch Adams and Mrs. Doubtfire? Duck! After RV and his manic sojourns into voicing animated characters, we feel strongly that one should avoid all future Williams endeavors as one would a petri dish teeming with gonococcus.

<strong>9. Wesley Snipes</strong>- Moderately interesting when he’s vampiric (Blade), vaguely grating when Spike Lee is involved (Jungle Fever), theatrically apocalyptic when he opens his mouth and attempts to emote (Undisputed). Given the $47 gazillion he owes the tax man, we can count on a steady flow of Wesley in the months ahead. Unrelated: A recent Radar article suggested that he has affiliated himself with an extremist group dubbed the “Nuwaubians.” This can’t end well.

<strong>8. Geena Davis</strong>- She distinguishes herself from her Kiss of Death peers by sucking across a wide range of media, especially TV (Commander in Chief, dramatically inferior to The Simpsons’ “Commander in Chimp”) and film (Stuart Little 4: Mighty Mouse in Da House!). On the plus side, she could totally dunk over anybody else on this list, which could lead to a lucrative second act as a sideshow freak.

<strong>7. Taye Diggs</strong>- The male Geena Davis? He’s two for two in the nuking-series-designed-to-highlight-his-affability-and-DREAMY-looks department (Kevin Hill, Day Break), and his big-screen turns (Rent) have crackled like soggy cereal. He needs an action franchise more desperately than any personality not named Lance Bass. Time to man up, dude.

<strong>6. Chris Rock</strong>- Chris Rock doing stand-up: funny. Chris Rock hosting the Academy Awards, exec-producing Everybody Hates Chris, or “acting” in I Think I Love My Wife, Head of State, and The Longest Yard: not funny. In conclusion, please strive to avoid anything Rock-related that doesn’t involve a stage and a microphone duct-taped to his hand. Thank you for your time.

<strong>5. Bill Cosby</strong>- The prince of pudding pops seems to think that his gruff-patriarch persona remains as relevant and ha-ha funny as it was in 1985. Ghost Dad? More like Ghost Bad, if you ask us! Hoy-o! Mitigating factor: Cosby may or may not be dead. His last credit, the unreadable script for the unwatchable Fat Albert came in 2004.

<strong>4. Ben Affleck</strong>- Hollywood honchos believe that Mr. Affleck is this close to recapturing the effortless charm he flashed in Good Will Hunting. But here’s the thing: On one side of the ledger, you have GWH. On the other, you have Jersey Girl, Gigli, Daredevil, Changing Lanes, Paycheck, Surviving Christmas, Bounce… Get our drift here? If it looks like a fluke and acts like a fluke, and wears a girly manicured goatee like a fluke, it’s probably a fluke.