So you're gearing up for a weekend spent in the dark with your girl – before you load up that NetFlix queue or get online at Blockbuster, you need to have a solid, foolproof game plan.
That's where we come in.
Allow us to present our weekly DVD-siac Movie Three-Pack, a collection of recent releases and old favorites that we guarantee will get you lucky this weekend, in one way or another.
THE CHICK FLICK YOU CAN TOLERATE
Plan A: Show your sensitive side…within reason. Grab a "chick flick" that at least has some redeeming value so that you can stay awake along enough for her to reward your gallant show of sensitivity. This week, we recommend:
Kramer vs. Kramer [Blu-Ray]
What better way to get her to appreciate what you two have together than to navigate the emotional battlefield that is the marriage of Dustin Hoffman and Meryl Streep in this just-reissued Blu-Ray edition of the 1979 weeper? Plus, if your mind starts to wander during the talkie scenes you can always amuse yourself by coming up with alternate plots: Kramer Vs. Predator….Kramer vs. Jason…Ecks vs. Kramer…
THE GUY FLICK SHE CAN TOLERATE
Plan B: She has a headache, she has to get up early, her football injury is acting up - in short, you're looking at a dry night ahead. But, hey, you still want to spend some time together, so forgo the romance and put on something that leans a little more on the "guy" side without leaving her in the cold. This week, we recommend:
Body of Lies
Just released this week, Body of Lies has a pedigree you and she can get behind: Ridley Scott, Russell Crowe, and Leonardo DiCaprio. Sure, it’s not a groundbreaking treatise on international terrorism, but it’s got enough story and enough action to engage you both. And right now, there are few actors as on top of their games as Russell and Leo.
YOUR MOVIE
Plan C: That yawn means, "I'm getting some beauty rest, so why don't you put that diving rod of yours on ice and watch something without me?" The downside: No sex. The upside: You can watch the movie you really wanted to watch, her feelings or interest level be damned. This week, we recommend:
The Midnight Meat Train
Why? Because A) This is your only chance to watch a movie called Midnight Meat Train without having to question your sexuality, B) it’s a movie about a guy who kills people and hangs their gutted carcasses inside a subway train, and C) That guy is footie badass Vinnie Jones. Just be sure to avoid shouting, “OK, goodnight, honey. I’ll be in bed in a little while, I’m just going to take in some Midnight Meat Train first…”
ADDED BONUS: WATCH THESE
This weekend, the only movie worth seeing is the Maxim-approved (cough) Fired Up – so rather than tell you what you already know about it (it’s loaded with hot women), we’re going to rundown the new DVDs this week (in addition to Midnight Meat Train and Body of Lies) and why they make a strong case for staying in while simultaneously avoiding all things Oscar.
Choke
Based on the Chuck “Fight Club” Palahniuk novel, Choke stars Sam Rockwell as a historical recreation society member (you know, the guys who dress up like early settlers) and recovering sex addict. The director’s commentary from actor/helmer Clark Gregg and Rockwell alone is worth tracking down the DVD…
Changeling
Sure, Angelina Jolie stretches Mel Gibson’s infamous “Give me back my son!” moment into nearly all of Changeling’s run time, but you can’t argue with director Clint Eastwood’s sure hand and Jolie’s immeasurable, um, appeal. That kind of makes up for the flimsy DVD extras – C’mon, we demand to know exactly how a 78-year-old man can be this fucking prolific.
Flash of Genius
The story of the man who invented the intermittent windshield wiper…Wait! Come back! Seriously. This is an underrated “little guy against The Man” story that will have you gazing in awe at those intrepid little windshield helpers next time you drive in the rain. Greg Kinnear is solid as the hero you never knew existed.
Still Waiting…
Yeah, that’s right – the sequel to the Justin Long/Ryan Reynolds nutsack-fest Waiting. No weekend is complete without a little empty-headed raunch, right? Hey, it beats red carpet coverage…
That's where we come in.
Allow us to present our weekly DVD-siac Movie Three-Pack, a collection of recent releases and old favorites that we guarantee will get you lucky this weekend, in one way or another.
THE CHICK FLICK YOU CAN TOLERATE
Plan A: Show your sensitive side…within reason. Grab a "chick flick" that at least has some redeeming value so that you can stay awake along enough for her to reward your gallant show of sensitivity. This week, we recommend:
Kramer vs. Kramer [Blu-Ray]
What better way to get her to appreciate what you two have together than to navigate the emotional battlefield that is the marriage of Dustin Hoffman and Meryl Streep in this just-reissued Blu-Ray edition of the 1979 weeper? Plus, if your mind starts to wander during the talkie scenes you can always amuse yourself by coming up with alternate plots: Kramer Vs. Predator….Kramer vs. Jason…Ecks vs. Kramer…
THE GUY FLICK SHE CAN TOLERATE
Plan B: She has a headache, she has to get up early, her football injury is acting up - in short, you're looking at a dry night ahead. But, hey, you still want to spend some time together, so forgo the romance and put on something that leans a little more on the "guy" side without leaving her in the cold. This week, we recommend:
Body of Lies
Just released this week, Body of Lies has a pedigree you and she can get behind: Ridley Scott, Russell Crowe, and Leonardo DiCaprio. Sure, it’s not a groundbreaking treatise on international terrorism, but it’s got enough story and enough action to engage you both. And right now, there are few actors as on top of their games as Russell and Leo.
YOUR MOVIE
Plan C: That yawn means, "I'm getting some beauty rest, so why don't you put that diving rod of yours on ice and watch something without me?" The downside: No sex. The upside: You can watch the movie you really wanted to watch, her feelings or interest level be damned. This week, we recommend:
The Midnight Meat Train
Why? Because A) This is your only chance to watch a movie called Midnight Meat Train without having to question your sexuality, B) it’s a movie about a guy who kills people and hangs their gutted carcasses inside a subway train, and C) That guy is footie badass Vinnie Jones. Just be sure to avoid shouting, “OK, goodnight, honey. I’ll be in bed in a little while, I’m just going to take in some Midnight Meat Train first…”
ADDED BONUS: WATCH THESE
This weekend, the only movie worth seeing is the Maxim-approved (cough) Fired Up – so rather than tell you what you already know about it (it’s loaded with hot women), we’re going to rundown the new DVDs this week (in addition to Midnight Meat Train and Body of Lies) and why they make a strong case for staying in while simultaneously avoiding all things Oscar.
Choke
Based on the Chuck “Fight Club” Palahniuk novel, Choke stars Sam Rockwell as a historical recreation society member (you know, the guys who dress up like early settlers) and recovering sex addict. The director’s commentary from actor/helmer Clark Gregg and Rockwell alone is worth tracking down the DVD…
Changeling
Sure, Angelina Jolie stretches Mel Gibson’s infamous “Give me back my son!” moment into nearly all of Changeling’s run time, but you can’t argue with director Clint Eastwood’s sure hand and Jolie’s immeasurable, um, appeal. That kind of makes up for the flimsy DVD extras – C’mon, we demand to know exactly how a 78-year-old man can be this fucking prolific.
Flash of Genius
The story of the man who invented the intermittent windshield wiper…Wait! Come back! Seriously. This is an underrated “little guy against The Man” story that will have you gazing in awe at those intrepid little windshield helpers next time you drive in the rain. Greg Kinnear is solid as the hero you never knew existed.
Still Waiting…
Yeah, that’s right – the sequel to the Justin Long/Ryan Reynolds nutsack-fest Waiting. No weekend is complete without a little empty-headed raunch, right? Hey, it beats red carpet coverage…