Monsters Who Get Chicks

ENTERTAINMENT  |  February 15, 2008By Maxim Staff

These flicks prove that as long as you're in movies, women will date you. Even if you're a horribly disfigured swamp creature.

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King KongThe Fly
      
      
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Couple: Ann Darrow and King Kong
Bedroom awkwardness level: 10 (King Kong's not a player, but he crushes a lot…of people with his huge monkey balls.)
Since Peter Jackson's remake, we've been trying to use the King Kong method to pick up girls. The basic strategy is to grab her and climb up the side of a tall building, grunting and crapping the whole way. The success rate isn't great, but it's cheaper than going to the movies. Plus, you're way more likely to get that good-night kiss if she's seen you swat down a few helicopters first.

Couple: Ann Darrow and King Kong
Bedroom awkwardness level: 10 (King Kong's not a player, but he crushes a lot…of people with his huge monkey balls.)
Since Peter Jackson's remake, we've been trying to use the King Kong method to pick up girls. The basic strategy is to grab her and climb up the side of a tall building, grunting and crapping the whole way. The success rate isn't great, but it's cheaper than going to the movies. Plus, you're way more likely to get that good-night kiss if she's seen you swat down a few helicopters first.

Couple: Ann Darrow and King Kong
Bedroom awkwardness level: 10 (King Kong's not a player, but he crushes a lot…of people with his huge monkey balls.)
Since Peter Jackson's remake, we've been trying to use the King Kong method to pick up girls. The basic strategy is to grab her and climb up the side of a tall building, grunting and crapping the whole way. The success rate isn't great, but it's cheaper than going to the movies. Plus, you're way more likely to get that good-night kiss if she's seen you swat down a few helicopters first.

Couple: Ann Darrow and King Kong
Bedroom awkwardness level: 10 (King Kong's not a player, but he crushes a lot…of people with his huge monkey balls.)
Since Peter Jackson's remake, we've been trying to use the King Kong method to pick up girls. The basic strategy is to grab her and climb up the side of a tall building, grunting and crapping the whole way. The success rate isn't great, but it's cheaper than going to the movies. Plus, you're way more likely to get that good-night kiss if she's seen you swat down a few helicopters first.

Couple: Ann Darrow and King Kong
Bedroom awkwardness level: 10 (King Kong's not a player, but he crushes a lot…of people with his huge monkey balls.)
Since Peter Jackson's remake, we've been trying to use the King Kong method to pick up girls. The basic strategy is to grab her and climb up the side of a tall building, grunting and crapping the whole way. The success rate isn't great, but it's cheaper than going to the movies. Plus, you're way more likely to get that good-night kiss if she's seen you swat down a few helicopters first.

Couple: Ann Darrow and King Kong
Bedroom awkwardness level: 10 (King Kong's not a player, but he crushes a lot…of people with his huge monkey balls.)
Since Peter Jackson's remake, we've been trying to use the King Kong method to pick up girls. The basic strategy is to grab her and climb up the side of a tall building, grunting and crapping the whole way. The success rate isn't great, but it's cheaper than going to the movies. Plus, you're way more likely to get that good-night kiss if she's seen you swat down a few helicopters first.

Couple: The Fly and Veronica Quaife
Bedroom awkwardness level: 8 (It's not a skin flick if only one of them has skin.)
At first, Seth Brundle's botched experiment gave him more bedroom prowess than three dozen oysters and half a bottle of Viagra. Sadly, all of his skin fell off shortly after. But even when Jeff Goldblum's good looks deteriorated and he turned into a huge murderous insect, Geena Davis stood by his side. We hope our girl's as understanding when we put on 30 pounds over St. Patrick's Day weekend.

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Related Article

Related Article

1
/ 9

King KongThe Fly

Couple: Ann Darrow and King Kong
Bedroom awkwardness level: 10 (King Kong's not a player, but he crushes a lot…of people with his huge monkey balls.)
Since Peter Jackson's remake, we've been trying to use the King Kong method to pick up girls. The basic strategy is to grab her and climb up the side of a tall building, grunting and crapping the whole way. The success rate isn't great, but it's cheaper than going to the movies. Plus, you're way more likely to get that good-night kiss if she's seen you swat down a few helicopters first.

Couple: Ann Darrow and King Kong
Bedroom awkwardness level: 10 (King Kong's not a player, but he crushes a lot…of people with his huge monkey balls.)
Since Peter Jackson's remake, we've been trying to use the King Kong method to pick up girls. The basic strategy is to grab her and climb up the side of a tall building, grunting and crapping the whole way. The success rate isn't great, but it's cheaper than going to the movies. Plus, you're way more likely to get that good-night kiss if she's seen you swat down a few helicopters first.

Couple: Ann Darrow and King Kong
Bedroom awkwardness level: 10 (King Kong's not a player, but he crushes a lot…of people with his huge monkey balls.)
Since Peter Jackson's remake, we've been trying to use the King Kong method to pick up girls. The basic strategy is to grab her and climb up the side of a tall building, grunting and crapping the whole way. The success rate isn't great, but it's cheaper than going to the movies. Plus, you're way more likely to get that good-night kiss if she's seen you swat down a few helicopters first.

Couple: Ann Darrow and King Kong
Bedroom awkwardness level: 10 (King Kong's not a player, but he crushes a lot…of people with his huge monkey balls.)
Since Peter Jackson's remake, we've been trying to use the King Kong method to pick up girls. The basic strategy is to grab her and climb up the side of a tall building, grunting and crapping the whole way. The success rate isn't great, but it's cheaper than going to the movies. Plus, you're way more likely to get that good-night kiss if she's seen you swat down a few helicopters first.

Couple: Ann Darrow and King Kong
Bedroom awkwardness level: 10 (King Kong's not a player, but he crushes a lot…of people with his huge monkey balls.)
Since Peter Jackson's remake, we've been trying to use the King Kong method to pick up girls. The basic strategy is to grab her and climb up the side of a tall building, grunting and crapping the whole way. The success rate isn't great, but it's cheaper than going to the movies. Plus, you're way more likely to get that good-night kiss if she's seen you swat down a few helicopters first.

Couple: Ann Darrow and King Kong
Bedroom awkwardness level: 10 (King Kong's not a player, but he crushes a lot…of people with his huge monkey balls.)
Since Peter Jackson's remake, we've been trying to use the King Kong method to pick up girls. The basic strategy is to grab her and climb up the side of a tall building, grunting and crapping the whole way. The success rate isn't great, but it's cheaper than going to the movies. Plus, you're way more likely to get that good-night kiss if she's seen you swat down a few helicopters first.

Couple: The Fly and Veronica Quaife
Bedroom awkwardness level: 8 (It's not a skin flick if only one of them has skin.)
At first, Seth Brundle's botched experiment gave him more bedroom prowess than three dozen oysters and half a bottle of Viagra. Sadly, all of his skin fell off shortly after. But even when Jeff Goldblum's good looks deteriorated and he turned into a huge murderous insect, Geena Davis stood by his side. We hope our girl's as understanding when we put on 30 pounds over St. Patrick's Day weekend.