Gladiator

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Some cable junkies probably think The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and other WWF types are the nastiest brawlers ever to clash to the howls of a rabid crowd. Pshaw. Those baby-oil-dripping, fake-tanned peacocks would’ve pissed their spandex tights after about 10 seconds in the arena with the warriors of the bloodthirsty Roman Empire. Praise Jupiter: The action-packed Gladiator takes us back to that glorious and brutal era.

Russell Crowe, shedding the paunch of his last role in The Insider, plays a battle-hardened Roman general in 180 A.D.—and with a name like Maximus, you know he’s one tough dude. (Check out his multi-firing crossbow.) In an opening battle that rivals the ferocity of those in Braveheart, Maximus’ legionnaires crush their Germanic enemies on the empire’s frontier, and when director Ridley Scott (Alien, Blade Runner) has his camera trail thousands of flaming arrows arcing into a forest, you know you’ve got a Spartacus-style spectacle on your hands—minus the homoerotic bath scenes.

Things quickly go to shit for Maximus when the bratty new emperor, Commodus (Joaquin Phoenix), forces the general into slavery and executes his family. Maximus lands in a gladiator boot camp, soon becomes a feared fighter, and is sent up to the big leagues—the awe-inspiring Roman Colosseum—where he sees his opportunity for revenge in harnessing the power of the roaring public. (Sound far-fetched? Maybe you’ve heard of Governor Jesse Ventura.)

Before he can pull that off, of course, Maximus has to survive a series of brutal showdowns in the arena. And while the Romans made astounding advances in art, architecture, and roads, they really excelled in entertainment: If they got bored watching two heavily armed gladiators fight to the death with swords and spears, they’d just make it a battle royale or, as in the film’s most intense moments, toss in a few hungry, ill-tempered tigers. (Imagine the pay-per-view potential.)

Gladiator is one of those rare action movies in which a skyscraper doesn’t have to be nuked or a villain riddled with 347 bullets just to spike the thrills. History has done most of the hard work here already, and with heavy-hitting talents like Crowe and Scott pitching in, Gladiator could very well be the last blockbuster standing this summer.

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