Tomcats

Reviewed by:
Eric Alt

We know that Maxim complaining about lewd humor is like Osama bin Laden getting pissed that his plane’s been hijacked, but there is absolutely nothing worse than lewdness done badly. That’s right—proper lewdness is an art form. After watching Tomcats, we are plagued by one question: If you have the R rating, why aim for 13-year-old laughs? Classic lewd-cinema, like Porky’s or Fast Times at Ridgemont High, makes the most of its R rating—Tomcats would appear tame if compared to a particularly heated episode of Dawson’s Creek. No nudity, 8th-grade dick jokes, and a running gag involving a cancerous testicle (ha, ha)—that’s good stuff, guys.

The inanity begins when the group of self-titled “Tomcats” (besides Jake Busey and Jerry O’Connell, the rest of these so-called swingers look like they should be off organizing their Magic cards) make a bet that the last bachelor in the group gets a ton of cash. It comes down to Busey and O’Connell, and since O’Connell got in deep in Vegas, he needs the cash badly. He then sets out to marry off Busey by tracking down his long-lost love, played with mannequin grace by Shannon Elizabeth (she plays a [cough] hardboiled L.A. cop). Horatio Sanz plays a disgustingly fat Tomcat who manages, inexplicably, to marry a character played by Jaime Pressly. (On what planet would that happen, exactly? Of course, we can’t say it doesn’t give us hope.) Note to Sanz: We’ve seen you do some funny shit on SNL, why did you allow yourself to get cast in the “Fat Guy Fall Down, Fat Guy Funny” role that would have gone to Chris Farley if he hadn’t boarded the all-you-can-eat dining car to the Big Adios? Have some self respect, man, you can do better. Rounding out the suckage is Bill Maher as an evil Vegas leg breaker. You’ve been warned.

See Interviews with the stars of Tomcats courtesy of iJunkets. (All clips in Quicktime format):

Jake Busey:
Lo Hi

Shannon Elizabeth
Lo Hi

Jerry O’Connell
Lo Hi

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