Cradle 2 the Grave

Reviewed by:
Paul Ulane

You’ve got to hand it to moviemakers who (1) have the courage to pair Earl Simmons (a.ka. Ruff Ryder DMX) and Jet Li as a multicultural, ass-kicking tandem, and (2) a complete disregard for recent movie history to pull it off. Just ignore the inherent absurdity of a gangsta with a conscience (Simmons) teaming up with a Taiwanese government agent (Li), and focus on everything else. Sure, what dialogue there is may cause mild cerebral hemorrhaging, but there’s hardly any talking. The featured femmes, Gabrielle Union and Kelly Hu, tacitly prove their value to the story with a sweat-inducing, seat-adjusting kickboxing Hu-down. Hell, Union even dances out of her clothes and into our dreams in one very important scene. Even devotees are placated, with Simmons using his Timbs to kung fu kick through legions of bad guys—and all to the tune of his new hit single! There’s even some—some—comic relief kicked in by Anthony Anderson. And a lot less by Tom Arnold. Cradle 2 the Grave won’t make you smarter. But if you just focus on the explosions, you shouldn’t wind up stupider, either.

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