Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Reviewed by:
Deborah Day

They’re not bad. They’re not especially good. But they are somewhat addictive. Like salty, hot Micky D’s French fries, 2003’s crop of summer McAction Movies are being gobbled up by the masses, already fat on artery-clogging Hollywood calories. We’re looking at you, Hulk, Terminator 3, Charlie’s Angels, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and your ilk.

Disney hits the mix with Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. Born of über-producer Jerry Bruckheimer, slashed together by The Ring director Gore Verbinski, and featuring Johnny Depp as a rum-’n’-sun-marinated sea rogue, Pirates takes its inspiration from, yep, the Disney World ride. Throw in the pouty puss of sizzling Keira Knightley (Bend It Like Beckham), and you’ve got one ass-kicking, cannon-firing Happy Meal. (With a free peg leg for kids, three and up!)

Orlando Bloom plays Will Turner, the besotted love interest to Knightley’s Elizabeth Swann. When Elizabeth gets tangled up with a rotting lot of cursed pirates led by Geoffrey Rush, Turner takes to the waves with Depp’s Jack Sparrow to rescue the shanghaied maiden. Galleons of swashbuckling swordplay later, the day is saved. Avast ye, skeptical mateys, tis well enough if you dig the parrot-and-eye-patch genre.