Wonderland

Reviewed by:
Paul Ulane

Trust us on this one, having a big dick isn’t all it’s whacked off to be. John Holmes (Val Kilmer) learned his lesson the hard way, when money and XXX fame led to a nasty drug habit, which led to involvement in a nastier quadruple homicide. Aside from one scene in which he’s spurred by onlookers to “pull it out,” Wonderland pays lip service to Holmes’ professional exploits, instead focusing on his lost years, when the runny-nosed, unkempt, limp-dicked porn star couldn’t concentrate on anything but his next fix.

We open with the Wonderland murders—four people dead, one in serious condition—that splattered up a scumbag drug dealer’s apartment in Laurel Canyon in 1981. Conflicting versions of how it went down—one from Holmes, one from a roughneck who ran with Holmes’ crew (played by miscast Dylan McDermott)—piece together varying recollections until the story is told to the best of anybody’s knowledge, linking the killings to notorious drug kingpin Eddie Nash (Eric Bogosian). Kilmer keeps it simple in an understated performance that reflects exactly how shitty Holmes’ life had become, and he’s flanked by two able female leads in Kate Bosworth, as his teenage girlfriend, and Lisa Kudrow (holy shit, she’s not annoying!), as the wife who can’t let go. Instead of sex, unapologetic violence earns the R rating in this depressing but gripping story that warns of the infamy that can accompany great physical gifts. If nothing else, let this stand as a warning to crotch-stuffing losers everywhere.

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