Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Reviewed by:
Eric Alt

Directed by: Dave Filoni

The Skinny: Having alienated every actor with whom he's ever worked, George Lucas has now decided to make animated Star Wars movies. Clone Wars basically treads the same ground as the animated shorts from Cartoon Network (called, um, Clone Wars), only with computer animation and fewer good ideas.

The Good: Remember when Mel Brooks made Spaceballs? Well, George Lucas has decided to cut out the middle man and make his own Star Wars parodies. Not laughing? Too bad, because Clone Wars thinks it's hilarious. (Seriously—was anyone clamoring for more jokes in their Star Wars movies?) The only one laughing is Lucas. At you.

The Bad: Fan boys, your god has not only abandoned you, he's now going around telling everyone what idiots he always thought you were. If the rationalization for the prequels was that they were "meant for kids," then this piece of half-assery must be meant for the even slower kids.

Gossip Jedi? Anakin Skywalker's new padawan is a mall rat teen who gives things "cute" nicknames. "Skyguy"? "Snips"? "Stinky"? "R2-y"? Oh, you read that right. She calls R2-D2 "artooey." Feel free to go ahead and fall on your replica light saber any time now.

Oh, and Another Thing: Did you know Jabba the Hutt had a CROSS-DRESSING GAY UNCLE? Well, he does. And no, we're not joking. Yuck it up, Lucas.

Theater, DVD, or TNT in Five Years? Pass. Joe Jackson didn't shit this hard on childhoods.

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