Appaloosa

Reviewed by:
Eric Alt

Directed by: Ed Harris

The Skinny: Hollywood's go-to square jaw Ed Harris directs and stars in this western (adapted from the book by Robert B. "Spenser for Hire" Parker) about a grizzled lawman named Virgil Cole (Harris) who, along with his fiercely loyal partner Everett Hitch (Viggo Mortensen), help save a small town—and a fresh-from-the-city damsel (Renée Zellweger)—from the iron fist of local "entrepreneur" Randall Bragg (Jeremy Irons) and his morally lax men. In other words, "a western."

The Good: Harris, Mortensen, and Irons are all great. And their individual characters are pretty engaging—Harris allows for moments of humor that don't seem forced and actually make these old-west hard cases more endearing. And we're always suckers for morally upright badasses and their equally badass right-hand men up against oily scum, especially when they're played by these guys.

The Bad: Overall, Appaloosa is a disappointing series of old-west clichés without much of a pulse. The moments of humor are welcome, but for the most part the movie just meanders by without any emotional high or low points. Even the climactic shoot-out happens so quickly it takes a moment to process. Plus, when you have Lance Henriksen as an untrustworthy gun-for-hire, there's no excuse for wasting him like this movie does.

Who's That Girl? We're not sure who exactly was wearing that prosthetic Renée Zellweger mask throughout the film, but, man, do we miss Stan Winston. Her normally puckered face has somehow morphed into a rigid, expressionless Kabuki mask that is unsettling to look at. Luckily, Harris realized this and gives her very few close-ups. Well played, Ed.

Theater, DVD, or TNT in Five Years? It's a rental for those jonesing for a quick shot of cowboy hooch, the rest can wait for its cable run.