The Day the Earth Stood Still

Reviewed by:
Eric Alt

Directed by: Scott Derrickson

The Skinny: In this remake of the 1951 science fiction cautionary tale, an alien named Klaatu (Keanu) arrives on earth with a giant robot named Gort to implore humanity to straighten up and fly right. In 1951, it centered on war and atomic energy. In 2008, it's the environment. See? And you asked, "Why did they have to remake this?" Bet you feel stupid now.

The Good: Well, it's not the dumbest movie we've ever seen. It is, however, amazing how strenuously unremarkable it is—it's a listless collection of sci-fi cliches that mildly pass over you without leaving an impression either incredibly good or incredibly bad. Part of that has to do with the movie's surprisingly good cast—Keanu, Jennifer Connelly, John Cleese, Don Draper—pretending to be excited onscreen.

The Bad: This is, hands down, the most ham-fisted cinematic environmental treatise since Al Gore got his hands on PowerPoint. We're not against saving the earth—far from it—but we are against having characters in a movie bluntly shout this message over and over at us like we're Romanian tourists asking for directions. We get it. You had a perfectly good reason to rehash this movie. Sure, sure.

The Day the Earth Bought Advertising: In addition to stapling its message onto your forehead, the movie offers some pretty blatant product placement. Having two aliens meet in a McDonalds? Alright, maybe... Having a character actually say (while the restuarant's neon logo blazes in full focus in the background), "We're stopping at McDonald's?" Hmmmm…Opening the ensuing scene with a CLOSE UP of a McCoffee cup? OK, too fucking far.

Theater, DVD, or TNT in Five Years? If you still think global warming is just the angels throwing more coal in Heaven's fireplace, maybe having aliens deliver the message to you will help. The rest of you can get by waiting for cable.

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