I Love You, Beth Cooper

Rating:

Reviewed by:
Eric Alt

Directed by: Chris Columbus

The Skinny: Nebbish high schooler Denis Cooverman (Paul Rust) is goaded by his flighty best friend (Jack Carpenter) into declaring his love for school hottie Beth Cooper (Hayden Panettiere) during his graduation speech. A wacky night of avoiding angry boyfriends, trashing houses, and falling in love ensues.

The Good: Yeah, um, let's come back to this, shall we?

The Bad: Whoa, boy. We'd love to have seen the part of this movie's development where all involved said, "We've got a movie populated with unlikable characters and loaded with jokes that aren't so much delivered as they are dropped on your foot like lead weights. Let's get this puppy into theaters!" No one comes out of Beth Cooper unscathed. This movie starts off awkwardly and never regains its footing. The nasally, irritating Rust never crosses over into endearing, and the stubby Panettiere never convinces as the untouchable high school goddess. All the jokes seem to pause for an imaginary, off-screen rimshot, and the gay subplot feels like it would be more offensive to gay people than all of Brüno.

No Nudes Is Good News: If you frequent the web, you've probably heard slap-happy fanboys drooling over an alleged Panettiere nude scene. If you call seeing someone's naked back (from the waist up) a "nude" scene, then sure…

Arbitrary Critic Rating: We give this half a wormy Neal Rosen.