In case you've been living under a mall instead of inside one, you might not be aware of the phenomenon that is Twilight. As we understand it, it's some kind of Anne Rice for tweens, some union of S.E. Hinton and Bram Stoker. It's Buffy the Vampire Slayer only dead serious.
If you've managed to avoid all things brooding and gothy, congratulations. However, your odds of continued avoidance depends on a few simple factors. Here are your Odds of Seeing Twilight This Weekend:
- You're a 12 year-old girl: Even money
- You're the legal guardian of a 12 year-old girl: 2:1
- You manage a Hot Topic franchise: 3:1
- You're Robert Smith: 5:1
- You're a member of the undead who appreciates your condition being used as a ham-fisted metaphor for homosexuality, drug addiction, and teens' inability to cope with anything: 30:1
- Quantum of Solace was sold out: 100:1