Release Date:
Friday, January 16, 2009
Directed by: Steve Carr
The Skinny: Paul Blart (Kevin James), a New Jersey mall cop lifer, realizes his—erm—girth has kept him from achieving anything meaningful in his life. But, when a gang of sk8er boi robbers take over the mall, Blart summons his inner vigilante.
The Good: This is actually one of those movies that's better than the trailerwhich is not necessarily a good thing because the trailer was lamer than a bloodied mule. You'll get a couple of chuckles at the beginning when you realize just how awful a life Blart is livingdead end job, hypoglycemic, and has exactly 0 matches on an Internet dating serviceand, while the love subplot is a bit out there (obesity isn't exactly the best pick-up line), it gives some purpose to Blart's motives later on when "teh ev1l guyz" invade.
The Bad: We read the press materials and were confused that there were no robbers to be found nearly 40 minutes into the movie. And when they finally do appear, they are emo jackasses toting skateboards and Henna tattoos. Even putting that aside, if you've seen James' schtick on The King of Queens, you've probably seen 90 percent of this movie already. We get it, director Steve Carr: Fat dudes attempting to crawl, climb, or move horizontally are indeed amusing to watch. We prefer them in two-minute YouTube clips, however.
Fun Facts by UrbanDictionary.com! "Blart" is actually a compound word defined as "a fart with blood in it." Come to think of it, that kind of accurately explains the film's takeaway value.
Theater, DVD, or TNT in Five Years? Hell, TNT in five weeks. It's a waste of time to even think about seeing this. If you're really in the mood for Blarting this week, we suggest the bloody kind.
The Skinny: Paul Blart (Kevin James), a New Jersey mall cop lifer, realizes his—erm—girth has kept him from achieving anything meaningful in his life. But, when a gang of sk8er boi robbers take over the mall, Blart summons his inner vigilante.
The Good: This is actually one of those movies that's better than the trailerwhich is not necessarily a good thing because the trailer was lamer than a bloodied mule. You'll get a couple of chuckles at the beginning when you realize just how awful a life Blart is livingdead end job, hypoglycemic, and has exactly 0 matches on an Internet dating serviceand, while the love subplot is a bit out there (obesity isn't exactly the best pick-up line), it gives some purpose to Blart's motives later on when "teh ev1l guyz" invade.
The Bad: We read the press materials and were confused that there were no robbers to be found nearly 40 minutes into the movie. And when they finally do appear, they are emo jackasses toting skateboards and Henna tattoos. Even putting that aside, if you've seen James' schtick on The King of Queens, you've probably seen 90 percent of this movie already. We get it, director Steve Carr: Fat dudes attempting to crawl, climb, or move horizontally are indeed amusing to watch. We prefer them in two-minute YouTube clips, however.
Fun Facts by UrbanDictionary.com! "Blart" is actually a compound word defined as "a fart with blood in it." Come to think of it, that kind of accurately explains the film's takeaway value.
Theater, DVD, or TNT in Five Years? Hell, TNT in five weeks. It's a waste of time to even think about seeing this. If you're really in the mood for Blarting this week, we suggest the bloody kind.