Release Date:
Friday, February 22, 2002
Rather, Flaming Queens of the Damned. Since when did movie vampires become less Nosferatu and more Rocky Horror? Hmm
actually, around the time Tom Cruise sucked long and hard on Brad Pitt in the first Anne Riceinspired movie, come to think of it. Granted, we havent actually read any of Rices novels, but even staunch fans have to admit theres a difference between subtext and camp. You havent seen men this theatrically bitchy since your last Morissey concert. (One exchange: How did you find me? I looked for the most gauche house I could find and I knew it just had to be yoursor something to that effect). It seems you can tell a vampire because theyre pale, have fangs, and wear way too much silver eye makeup. Slather this cheese on top of an essentially bad movie, and youll definitely feel damned.
Keeping with this whole theme, the movie opens with the vampire Lestat (last played by Cruise, this time sleep-walked through by Stuart Townsend) resting and bitching (via voice-over) in a New Orleans cemetary for a few hundred years. But then something magical happens. He hears something new, something exotic, a sound so amazing it forces him to rise from his exile and once again walk among the living. He hears Korn? Thats right, this sissy bloodsucker wakes up wanting to be a nü-metal rock star in the vein (heh, heh) of soundtrack composer and Korn frontman Jonathan Davis. And thats about as much logic as this debacle employs. Fans will be disappointed that the much-hyped final role of late pop star Aaliyah is virtually non-existentapparently they cut much of her part down to make room for yet another scene involving two heavily made-up vampires talking and talking and talking. And when they stop talking, theres a voice-over, giving us more talking and talking Where the hell is Blade when you need im?
Keeping with this whole theme, the movie opens with the vampire Lestat (last played by Cruise, this time sleep-walked through by Stuart Townsend) resting and bitching (via voice-over) in a New Orleans cemetary for a few hundred years. But then something magical happens. He hears something new, something exotic, a sound so amazing it forces him to rise from his exile and once again walk among the living. He hears Korn? Thats right, this sissy bloodsucker wakes up wanting to be a nü-metal rock star in the vein (heh, heh) of soundtrack composer and Korn frontman Jonathan Davis. And thats about as much logic as this debacle employs. Fans will be disappointed that the much-hyped final role of late pop star Aaliyah is virtually non-existentapparently they cut much of her part down to make room for yet another scene involving two heavily made-up vampires talking and talking and talking. And when they stop talking, theres a voice-over, giving us more talking and talking Where the hell is Blade when you need im?