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Ted

Release Date: 
06/29/2012
Rated: 
MPAA: R
Star Rating: 
6 out of 10

Makes us miss our stoner stuffed animals

Photo: Universal Studios | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
The Pitch:  A lifelong friendship between John (Mark Wahlberg) and a crass talking teddy bear complicates John’s relationship with his girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis).

Photo: Universal Studios | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
What It Really Is: A really good first effort from the guy behind Family Guy. It’s great to see Mark Wahlberg, who too often just stands around crossing his arms and staring intensely, get to be goofy and even a little weird. He and Ted riff with the best of ‘em, rattling off white trash names one minute and reciting a “fuck you, thunder” chant the next. Our complaints? It’s a shame Mila Kunis is stuck playing the token girlfriend--she’s so much better than that--and the final half-hour didn’t seem all that planned out. Still, Ted manages to do something with a premise that could’ve easily been an awful Rob Schneider vehicle, which is why it’s getting positive reviews.

Photo: Universal Studios | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Hey Hollywood, We Demand More...Cameos from ‘70s and ‘80s super heroes. Lou Ferrigno’s part in I Love You, Man was great, and when a certain “flashy” blast from the inter-galactic past shows up at Ted’s raging party, it’s pure awesome.

Photo: Universal Studios | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Maxim.com Ready-Made Press Blurb: “We’ve never been more exci-ted for a movie about a talking bear!” --Maxim.com

Who’s It For: Family Guy fans, Massholes, people who still haven’t thrown away their baby blankets

Photo: Universal Studios | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Studio: Universal Pictures