Repression be damned, men are programmed to find two women fighting hot. Here are some scrappy sexpots whose spats make us horny.
Best movie catfights - True Lies-
It's impressive that Jamie Lee could match Tia blow for blow and curve for curve, considering there's a ten year age difference betwen them. And that gives us hope. Women don't necessarily become less desirable as they get older. Cougars, take note.
Best movie catfights - Undercover Brother-
Without a doubt, this is cinema's most realistic depiction of how a male brain interprets a catfight. When Sistah Girl and White She-Devil throw down, all the men in the room stop fighting, bust out the easy chairs and snacks, and soak it all in.
Best movie catfights - Die Another Day-
What is it with Halle Berry and chick fights? Being virtually flawless draws the wrath of a lot of women, it seems. And having them go at it in a crashing plane full of weapons is like giving us Christmas presents on our birthday during Spring Break.
Best movie catfights - Bridget Jones Diary-
We haven't seen two people paw at each other this effeminately and ineffectually since Billy Joel and Elton John toured together. Ladies, ladies—please! Take it outside.
Best movie catfights - The Mummy-
Playfulness is not a prerequisite for a hot catfight. Rachel and Patricia are truly intent on doing each other harm (while wearing masks and, thankfully, little else). But still, even a potential death blow is pretty arousing when accompanied by a forceful grunt that would make Maria Sharapova proud.
Best movie catfights - Scary Movie-
"In this corner, wearing breasts purchased in 1992, Pamela Aaaaanderson!" "In this corner, wearing breasts purchased in 1994, Jenny McCarrrrrrthy!" The two heavyweight champions of our fantasies went schoolgirl skirt to schoolgirl skirt for the opening of Scary Movie 3. Not only was it hot, but we've secretly wanted to see someone punch McCarthy since Singled Out.
Best movie catfights - Two Days in the Valley-
Sure, some credit should be given to the stunt choreographer who thought that a full-on catfight would spice up Valley or the director who had the foresight to shoot it when Teri Hatcher was still young and hot—but we feel the true hero here was the costume designer who said, "You know what? I'm thinking skin-tight white spandex for Charlize." Bless you, sir or madam.
Best movie catfights - Catwoman-
A true "cat" fight, get it? Because one of them…is dressed like…you know…a cat. And the other…um…once showed her pussy onscreen? Either way, this is the kind of fluid, CG-enhanced fighting we like, because the only things irreparably damaged by Berry and Stone are their careers.
Best movie catfights - Aliens-
Proving that the word "bitch" is a call-out that transcends all species and life forms, the finale of Aliens saw all the men pushed aside, killed, or severed in half while the two main women have a sci-fi slapfight that still gives geeks chills.