Into The Blue

Nearly two thirds of the action thriller Into The Blue takes place underwater, which is good, because we get to see two thirds of Jessica Alba unencumbered by clothing as well. The sight of a wet, half-naked Alba almost makes you forget the flick's wooden dialogue, which plays like excerpts from the Sylvester Stallone "Youse Can Read" program. By the time Alba is forced to tell boyfriend Paul Walker, “I believe in you more than the prospect of any sunken treasure!” you'll wish silent pictures had made a comeback. And the plot's not much better than the lines—basically, Alba and Walker are on vacation and just happen to discover a sunken plane packed with cocaine and an ancient ship filled with loot. (And to think, on your last vacation, you couldn't even find a place to pee at Sea World.) Of course, bad men always get pissed when you mess with their cocaine, and the flick devolves into one long underwater chase scene where the actors are blissfully unintelligible. So what saves this shipwreck of a movie? Let's just say Jessica Alba has a very nice tan.