Release Date:
03/27/2009
Directed by: Peter Cornwell
The Skinny: This movie is “based on a true story”, which is a common screenwriter code-word for “preposterous, convoluted, totally made up story.” The plot is not unlike any number of recent, PG-13 ghost stories that masquerade as horror flicks, but in actuality, are just spectral whodunits that ask the question: why the ghosts be hauntin’? It's like a slightly more sophisticated version of the RL Stine’s Goosebumps. “A Haunting in Connecticut” is about a family with a cancer kid that makes the unfortunate mistake of renting a dilapidated house in, wait for it, Connecticut, a state lousy with the ghosts of WASPs past and present.
The Good: It’s a horror movie that Humbert Humbert can take a date to, because she’ll get in? But seriously, in the first half an hour, you will walk away with valuable information, like, when renting a creaking old house, always check the basement for ancient scenes of ghastly slaughter. And also, the moment your creaking old house starts to moan, bleed, shake, call up the nice guy who sold you the house in the first reel of the movie. Say “Can I haz my monez back plz?”
The Bad: It’s just not a horror movie. The mystery is the driving narrative force, and once it’s resolved, it’s time to ditch the coda. Plus: I don’t know what comes after cliché, but whatever it is, it’s basically creepy, phantasmagoric children in every horror movie made in the last fifteen years.
Tantalizing Tidbits: Elias Koteas has some fun in the movie, doing a fantastic Robert De Niro impersonation, and he should make more movies playing Robert De Niro. It’s not like Robert De Niro is doing them well.
More Tantalizing Tidbits: Keep an eye out for the future sequels “A Haunting in Indiana” and “A Haunting in Luxemburg.”
Theater, DVD, or TNT in five years? This movie should only be seen by twelve year-olds hanging out at the mall, waiting for Mom to get out of Bloomingdales.
The Skinny: This movie is “based on a true story”, which is a common screenwriter code-word for “preposterous, convoluted, totally made up story.” The plot is not unlike any number of recent, PG-13 ghost stories that masquerade as horror flicks, but in actuality, are just spectral whodunits that ask the question: why the ghosts be hauntin’? It's like a slightly more sophisticated version of the RL Stine’s Goosebumps. “A Haunting in Connecticut” is about a family with a cancer kid that makes the unfortunate mistake of renting a dilapidated house in, wait for it, Connecticut, a state lousy with the ghosts of WASPs past and present.
The Good: It’s a horror movie that Humbert Humbert can take a date to, because she’ll get in? But seriously, in the first half an hour, you will walk away with valuable information, like, when renting a creaking old house, always check the basement for ancient scenes of ghastly slaughter. And also, the moment your creaking old house starts to moan, bleed, shake, call up the nice guy who sold you the house in the first reel of the movie. Say “Can I haz my monez back plz?”
The Bad: It’s just not a horror movie. The mystery is the driving narrative force, and once it’s resolved, it’s time to ditch the coda. Plus: I don’t know what comes after cliché, but whatever it is, it’s basically creepy, phantasmagoric children in every horror movie made in the last fifteen years.
Tantalizing Tidbits: Elias Koteas has some fun in the movie, doing a fantastic Robert De Niro impersonation, and he should make more movies playing Robert De Niro. It’s not like Robert De Niro is doing them well.
More Tantalizing Tidbits: Keep an eye out for the future sequels “A Haunting in Indiana” and “A Haunting in Luxemburg.”
Theater, DVD, or TNT in five years? This movie should only be seen by twelve year-olds hanging out at the mall, waiting for Mom to get out of Bloomingdales.