The Last Samurai

Diapered fatties…kick-ass ninjas…flip-flops and socks… You can now add one more to the list of Japanese cultural icons. In The Last Samurai, Tom Cruise plays an embittered Civil War vet sent to Japan to learn its troops in the art of Western-style warfare (shoot till the women and children are dead). Soon, however, he’s taken captive by a mountain village of samurai and becomes enamored with their code. Upon release, he’s forced to choose between the good ol’ U.S. of A. and the customs he’s grown to honor. So Cruise slowly works his way into the culture by picking up the language at the dinner table, learning fighting techniques in the sparring fields, and earning respect during real combat. Flying arrows, swords, and throwing stars mark some intense action and there are even laughs courtesy of the language barrier. Still, Cruise can’t resist the most notorious of American traits before the conclusion of our trip across the Pacific, spending Samurai’s final half hour deifying his character beyond absurd proportions (even for a Hollywood epic). And crying like a Frenchman. Show up for the first half, but pack some sake for the focus-group-approved pandering of the second.