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So the first real trailer for J.J. Abrams' Star Trek reboot is online and, predictably, the nerds are already dining on their wahburgers and French cries. If these movies pain them so much, why don't they—I don't know—devote their time and energy to something else? Like their own apartment?

So, anyway, here's a look at Star Trek Babies: The Wrath of Mom, which attempts to fool us into believing that the chubby, Starfleet-uniform-straining crew from the 60s TV show were, at one time, actually hot models.



Now that you've seen it, feast on some of the choicest cuts of Fanboy Weeping (the names have been changed to protect the nerdy):

SnarkyLover87: "The trailer gives me the uneasy feeling that this film going to be "The Fast and The Furious" in space. If so, it will suck the big sweaty Klingon sack. Star Trek is about to mutate from completely irrelavant to completely retarded. Targeting viewers with the mentality of junior high students should doom this reboot or whatever the hell it is to one and out status. Daredevil, Gozilla, and The Shadow, I'd like you to meet Star Trek."

StillinTherapyOverStarWars: "But it's not as bad as…WHAT DOES GOD NEED WITH A STARSHIP?…is it? Oh crap the trekkie came out of hiding in me. For the love of god why do franchises that started in the sixties feel the need to keep going and going and going? You know, maybe if Star Trek hadn't descended into pornos for pyrotechnics junkies in the last decade or so then they wouldn't need to resort to this reboot nonsense. I'm starting to hate this prequel nonsense and by the way FUCK YOU TOO GEORGE LUCAS!"

AdmiralDismissive: "Wait…Did Kirk just say "Buckle Up" and high five someone. If this is an indication of what the rest of the script is like then I think I will pass. Good god JJ Abrams is so overrated."

ConfuseATrekkie: "Is the HD trailer screwing up for anyone else?Trailer 2 gives me the old teaser and Trailer 1 (The teaser) gives me a trailer for Cloverfield. WTF!?!?!?!?"

AngryTribble: "well, we finally have a "star wars - episode 7"! there's not a single frame of "star trek" in this trailer…and what the heck is it with this car????? i've been a star trek fan for a long time now, and i'm really pissed off."

NailontheHead: "It does look like The OC in space."

UPDATE! Someone else has made their feelings about the new Star Trek trailer quite clear indeed. Check this out: