So you're gearing up for a weekend spent in the dark with your girl - before you load up that NetFlix queue or get online at Blockbuster, you need to have a solid, foolproof game plan.

That's where we come in.

Allow us to present our weekly DVD-siac Movie Three-Pack, a collection of recent releases and old favorites that we guarantee will get lucky this weekend, in one way or another.

THE CHICK FLICK YOU CAN TOLERATE
Plan A: Show your sensitive side...within reason. Grab a "chick flick" that at least has some redeeming value so that you can stay awake along enough for her to reward your gallant show of sensitivity. This week, we recommend:





Forgetting Sarah Marshall
The Judd Apatow crew put together what is, at heart, a pretty standard romantic comedy (which'll please her) while not forgetting to layer in subtle shades of guy humor ("I need to B my L on someone's T's") which will keep you interested. Plus, the movie is all about sex and lust and love, so it'll have her in the right frame of mind when the screen goes black.


THE GUY FLICK SHE CAN TOLERATE
Plan B: She has a headache, she has to get up early, her football injury is acting up - in short, you're looking at a dry night ahead. But, hey, you still want to spend some time together, so forgo the romance and put something that leans a little more on the "guy" side without leaving her in the cold. This week, we recommend:





The Bank Job
She'll likely take one look at the cover, see Jason Statham, and go, "No way." Don't let her - this isn't Transporter 4. Yes, the Stath is present and accounted for, but Bank Job is actually a based-on-true events potboiler involving British sex scandals, the royal family, and several millions in safety deposit boxes. She'll appreciate that there's a decent story, and you'll appreciate a good heist flick because, hell, who doesn't?


YOUR MOVIE
Plan C: That yawn means, "I'm getting some beauty rest, so why don't you put that diving rod of yours on ice and watch something without me?" The downside: No sex. The upside: You can watch the movie you really wanted to watch, her feelings or interest level be damned. This week, we recommend:





Step Brothers
Face it, there is such a thing as "a guy sense of humor" (we kind of bank on it, actually). Step Brothers is mean, vulgar, and completely idiotic, in the best way. By the time Will Ferrell rubs his nutsack on John C. Reilly's drumkit, she'd probably check out. But, alone, you can wallow in this gloriously arrested adolescence with impunity - and you don't have to worry about her mentally equating Reilly's underwear-clad Guitar Hero antics with, well, your underwear-clad Guitar Hero antics.