So you're gearing up for a weekend spent in the dark with your girl—before you load up that NetFlix queue or get on line at Blockbuster, you need to have a solid, foolproof game plan.

That's where we come in.

Allow us to present our weekly DVD-siac Movie Three-Pack, a collection of recent releases and old favorites that we guarantee will get you lucky this weekend, in one way or another.

THE CHICK FLICK YOU CAN TOLERATE
Plan A: Show your sensitive side… within reason. Grab a "chick flick" with some redeeming value, so that you can stay awake along enough for her to reward your gallant display of sensitivity. This week, we recommend:



Love Actually
It's almost Christmas, and if you have to sit through It's a Wonderful Life again, you'll chuck yourself off a bridge. On the surface, Love Actually is a sentimental chick flick made worse by its overwhelmingly poncy British-ness. But hold on. It's actually pretty good. Billy Bob Thornton's sleazebag U.S  President? Liam Neeson mentoring someone who isn't a Jedi or a superhero? Keira Knightly? Naked porn-movie stand ins? All great. And when the character of Colin, whose only goal in life is to go to America to get laid, finally reaches the promised land, the resolution is both hilarious and prime fantasy fuel—sharing a bed with Casino Royale's Ivana Milicevic, Mad Men's January Jones, Sean Avery's Elisha Cuthbert, and American Pie's Shannon Elizabeth? Sorry, we just messed ourselves.

THE GUY FLICK SHE CAN TOLERATE
Plan B: She has a headache, she has to get up early, her football injury is acting up—in short, you're looking at a dry night ahead. But, hey, you still want to spend some time together, so forgo the romance and put something that leans a little more on the "guy" side without leaving her in the cold. This week, we recommend:



The Dark Knight
This one's a slam dunk. Even if she claims to have no interest in gadget-laden superheroes, she won't turn down a chance to watch a legitimate movie phenomenon. Besides, it'll fuel her interest in the upcoming Awards season—why not find out why everyone's clamoring to give Heath Ledger a posthumous trophy? Plus, director Christopher Nolan is smart enough to make this movie, well, smart—Dark Knight will single-handedly renew her faith in the genre after you made her sit through Ghost Rider and Catwoman. Don't blow this momentum when Punisher: War Zone comes out on DVD. That's one for your eyes only.

YOUR MOVIE
Plan C: That yawn means, "I'm getting some beauty rest, so why don't you put that diving rod of yours on ice and watch something without me?" The downside: No sex. The upside: You can watch the movie you really wanted to watch, her feelings or interest level be damned. This week, we recommend:



Wanted
So you don't want to waste the power of Dark Knight, but you still want your comic book action—slip Wanted in your player and wallow in unabashed gun porn. We're talking car chases, blood splatters, endless rounds of spent ammunition, Angelina Jolie's tattooed butt crack, and Morgan Motherscratching Freeman. Oh, yeah, this is perfect "me time" viewing. Granted, magic looms and rat grenades don't make a lick of sense, but do you see us caring? Not when bullets are ripping through foreheads in glorious HD slow motion. Something like that will take the sting out of the fact that your sex life is drier than a Palm Springs rehab clinic.