For years, Watchmen was considered too huge a story to be adapted. Well, now that that's happened, check out some other comics and graphic novels that might be too tricky for film…


Preacher
This is currently kicking around Hollywood, but any version that could potentially hit screens would have to be watered down to the point of... well, pointlessness. Watchmen was only 12 issues—Preacher was 75 issues chock full of blasphemy, sodomy, vampirism, debauchery, Old West legend, and batshit insanity. Not to mention that this story of a disillusioned man of faith who gains divine powers and then walks the earth on a mission to kick God's ass is an invitation to boycotts and churchy outrage.



Sandman
When your hero is the anthropomorphized personification of dreams, you can't exactly slap a few explosions on the movie poster and call it a day. Neil Gaiman's esoteric story of a "man" who drifts between the world of dreams and the world of reality often reads like Robert Smith's schoolboy diary. Kidding aside, it's a comic series built on intriguing ideas rather than cool action or zingy dialogue, which would mean a movie version would have to beef up the action to ridiculous effect or else it would devolve into a talky, self-indulgent wank fest.



Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars
This company-wide cross-over event took every hero and every villain from the Marvel Universe, plunked them down on a remote planet, and let them duke it out for 12 issues. Can you imagine the logistics involved? Not only would Marvel have to corral all of the various production rights (X-Men at Fox, Spider-Man at Sony, Hulk at Universal), but imagine having to cast or re-sign everyone who's ever played a Marvel character plus roughly a hundred or so more? Not to mention that the sequel would have to star this guy.



Maus
We all know that Holocaust movies are Oscar gold, but we doubt Art Spiegelman's gut-wrenching account of his family's attempts to survive under the Nazi regime would ever see the inside of a movie theater. Why? because, well, it would probably have to star animated mice. We're pretty certain that Pixar can pull anything off, but we think this story might just have them scratching their heads.



Alan Moore's Lost Girls
How about a movie starring Alice from Alice in Wonderland, Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, and Wendy Darling from Peter Pan? Sounds like a girl-power movie from God's lips to Disney's ears, right? Slow down. Did we mention that these sweet, rosy-cheeked lasses are all featured in graphically erotic tales? Oh yeah. Peter Pan? A homeless kid Wendy has it off with. The tornado that ravages Dorothy's homestead? A metaphor for her first orgasm. Yeah, we don't see a Happy Meal tie-in for this one.



Jack Kirby's Fourth World
By the early 70s, legendary comic artist Kirby had nothing left to prove. The man helped create The Fantastic Four, the original X-Men, and the Hulk for crying out loud. Jumping ship from Marvel Comics to DC Comics, Ol' Jack created a series of interconnected comics—The Forever People, Mister Miracle and New Gods—collectively referred to as The Fourth World. To sum it up: Crazy interplanetary cyber-warriors duke it out amid grandiose speech-making. It's enough to make even George Lucas feel dwarfed.



Mr. Natural
R. Crumb's beardy hippie is a frequently naked, aphorism-spouting Bonnaroo refugee who likes to chubby chase. Sounds like the perfect vehicle for John C. Reilly, but we don't see this relic of the '60s infecting his patchouli-stink into theaters any time soon.



Youngblood
Or, more accurately, Anything Created By Rob Liefeld. Why? You try finding an actor with…


…such delicate feet.


…so many teeth…


…and whatever the fuck excuse for a body this is supposed to be.