Posted Friday 05/29/2009 2:00 PM in
The Movie Blog by Eric Alt
Filed under: drag me to hell, movies, hell, horror, devil, satan
No matter what name he chooses to go by—Lucifer, Beelzebub, Dick Cheney—the Dark Lord Satan is an unmistakable presence whenever and wherever he chooses to appear. Luckily for us, he likes to pop in movies a lot, which gives us a chance to celebrate our favorite horned tempters and lie-spreaders in honor of Drag Me to Hell (which opens this weekend). So locate your "666" birthmark, memorize your key John Milton passages, and prank call Max Von Sydow because here are our top 10 movie Satans.

10. George Burns (Oh God, You Devil)
Satan has a million tricks for worming his way into the hearts of unsuspecting humans, but showing up as a loveable old coot may be his most effective. Plus, the casting of Burns is brilliant because he was one of the few people who was actually around to see Lucifer get cast out of Heaven.

9. Al Pacino (Devil's Advocate)
If Satan did come to Earth in human form, of course he'd be a lawyer. But Pacino? We think Satan would be a little more subtle than that. The guy who ends every sentence with a shout and looks like he sunbathes inches from the Earth's molten core? Dead giveaway.

8. Jack Nicholson (The Witches of Eastwick)
This is clearly a case of Hollywood being proactive and just going directly to the source: "Satan, bubie, we're putting you in a movie, who do see in the lead?" "Nicholson, obvs." "Done. You're beautiful. Don't go changing. Ciao."

7. Rodney Dangerfield (Little Nicky)
He may be the deposed lord of the underworld, but he fits Satan's horns better than his way-too-level headed son. Besides, how can you not celebrate the patriarch of a bloodline that includes Harvey Keitel, Tiny Lister, Rhys Ifans, and Adam Sandler?

6. Robert DeNiro (Angel Heart)
You see, his name is Louis Cyphre. Lou…Cyphre. Geddit? Mickey Rourke's private dick Harry Angel might have caught on earlier had he not been busy ogling Lisa Bonet, doing speedballs, and running face first into things—an exercise regime that would result in him looking like reheated meat loaf years later in The Wrestler.

5. Tim Curry (Legend)
OK, he's technically known as "The Darkness" (not to be confused with the band. Or Charlie Murphy) but check that bad boy out. The red skin, the giant horns, the cloven feet and, of course, the unmistakable pipes of the man who belted out the all-time classic, "Anything Can Happen on Halloween."

4. Liz Hurley (Bedazzled)
Creepy guys with goatees and long fingernails? Effete Brits with glowing eyes? Nah. We're 100% confident that Satan would take the form of a smoking hot Liz Hurley in a cheerleader outfit. We'd sign away anything in the blood of our children if it she was the one doing the asking.

3. John Ritter (Wholly Moses!)
We know he's gotten a bad rep over the years, but maybe Satan isn't such a bad dude. Maybe he just wanted to spend his days quietly inventing trees and wearing skintight spandex, not bothering anyone. But one faux pas in front of the boss man and suddenly you're banished. Typical.

2. Rosalinda Celentano (The Passion of the Christ)
Hands down the most unsettling Satan on the list. Not only deathly pale and disconcertingly androgynous, this Satan has apparently given birth to a shaved Truman Capote Gremlin. If that doesn't send a shiver down your spine, nothing will.

1. Trey Parker (South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut)
People are quick to declare that evildoers like Hitler or Saddam Hussein are going to hell in a handbasket, but has anyone considered what happens once they get there? Maybe they fall into dysfunctional relationships with an emotionally vulnerable God of Lies? He just wants to be loved…
| MOST RECENT COMMENTS | |
| Posted by JEREMY on 05/29/2009 9:43 PM | report abuse |
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WHAAAAAT? No mention of LINDA BLAIR in "THE EXORCIST"? THE POWER OF STUPIDITY COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF STUPIDITY COMPELS YOU!
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| Posted by Paul on 05/31/2009 10:00 AM | report abuse |
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What about Dave Grohl in "Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny"?
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| Posted by jon on 05/31/2009 8:21 PM | report abuse |
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the power of stupidity compels you,HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG YOUR SO FUNNY, moron. Linda Blair didnt play satan you idiot she played a possessed little girl. the south park reference isnt funny either. Peter Stormare in constantine deserves some recognition.
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| Posted by Delmo Walters Jr. on 06/03/2009 8:55 PM | report abuse |
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What, no love for Bill Cosby in Disney's "The Devil and Max Devlin"?
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| Posted by brewpub420 on 06/04/2009 4:44 PM | report abuse |
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agreed on the linda blair comment , wath again fool. She was posseses. And by a demon named Pazuzu not satan. Side note of trivia. In the movie the omen when they go to retrieve the knives and see the face of the demon on the wall in Migido (spelled that wrong?) it is the face of Pazuzu as well. Busy little bugger isn't he. That said honorable mention for Damien , not quite satan but real damn close and I wouldn't wanna babysit that little shit any time soon.
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| Posted by BigM on 06/08/2009 4:22 AM | report abuse |
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You tottaly forgot Dave Grohl in pick of destiny
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| Posted by Desperado on 06/08/2009 7:55 AM | report abuse |
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Peter Stormare in Constantine. Really good and really creepy. How could you miss that?
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| Posted by funnylinguist on 06/08/2009 8:17 AM | report abuse |
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How about Viggo Mortensen as Lucifer in The Prophecy?
"Little Tommy Daggett. How I loved listening to your sweet prayers. Then you would hop into bed, afraid that I was hiding under it. And I was!"
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| Posted by Nom_de_Guerre on 06/08/2009 8:23 AM | report abuse |
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Viggo Kortensen in the Prophecy!
Total bad-ass, plus Christopher "I-command-the-rage-of-God-with-a-watch-up-my-ass" Walken as Gabriel bonus.
This movie also has Adam Goldberg as a ranting, suicidal zombie! It´s a mistery why it sucks.
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| Posted by Alex V on 06/08/2009 9:00 AM | report abuse |
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No Ray Walston in Damn Yankees?
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| Posted by sdklhjf on 06/08/2009 9:56 AM | report abuse |
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You're leaving out two of the best Satans ever:
1. Max Von Sydow (Needful Things): Satan opens a thrift shop, sells customers that one thing they've always wanted (or had and then lost), but in exchange they have to play a cruel prank on one of their neighbours, which eventually causes the whole town to tear itself apart while Satan sits back in his easy chair and laughs. Not just evil as hell, but fun-loving too.
2. Dave Grohl (Tenacious D in The Pick Of Destiny): Here's a Satan who wants not only to drag poor unlucky Kyle Gass down to the depths of hell with him, but who also wants to make him his sex slave for all eternity. The only way to stop this is to beat him in a rock-off.
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| Posted by Lee on 06/08/2009 11:35 AM | report abuse |
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How could you overlook Gabriel Byrne in "End of Days?" He walks into his servant's home and proceeds to nail both the guy's wife and daughter. At the same time.
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| Posted by Davey on 06/08/2009 12:30 PM | report abuse |
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No Walter Huston from "The Devil and Daniel Webster"? There is something deeply, deeply wrong with this list.
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| Posted by Richard on 06/08/2009 2:44 PM | report abuse |
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Tim Curry in Legend is #1. No contest.
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| Posted by Andy on 06/08/2009 3:29 PM | report abuse |
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Viggo Mortensen, The Prophecy. So good he should be required by California state law to have right of first refusal on all Satan roles until the day he dies.
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| Posted by tate on 06/08/2009 3:36 PM | report abuse |
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amen to viggo mortensen in prophecy. (no pun intended) always been my fav even if it was short role. also peter stormare from constantine and von sydow in needful things. all classics
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| Posted by Jaydin on 06/08/2009 3:52 PM | report abuse |
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Peter Cook from the original "Bedazzled"? George Spiggott/The Devil. Anyone?
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| Posted by Jeri on 06/08/2009 4:19 PM | report abuse |
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Tim Curry, who I wasn't familiar with, as "The Darkness" was so convincing that imagine my surprise when I found out the actor was a fairly small man. An excellent character.
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| Posted by Pascal on 06/08/2009 4:27 PM | report abuse |
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What about David Warner as "Evil Genius" in Time Bandits. Easily the funniest of all Satans !
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| Posted by Matthew on 06/08/2009 4:33 PM | report abuse |
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Walter Brennan in The Devil and Daniel Webster (All That Money Can Buy), people.
Matthew
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