Rating:
Reviewed by: Eric Alt
Directed by: Michael Bay


The Skinny: Know the sequel cliché "Give 'em the same, only more of it"? Never has this been more apt than with Transformers: ROTF—not to be confused with Transformers: ROFL or Transformers: LMAO. You're pretty much getting the 2007 Transformers movie again: Robots from space need the help of a human boy named Sam (Shia LaBeouf) to get something or other that means a lot to them and kind of has an impact on the fate of Earth in a roundabout way—only with bigger robots and bigger explosions.

The Good: Like the first time around, the special effects are pretty much what you're paying to see and they are, once again, very impressive. Bay clearly took some notes from his first go-round and finally allows some of the fight scenes to breathe a little bit, particularly a forest throwdown with Optimus Prime. He actually inserts some long shots to give you a sense of scale and setting, something he hardly did in Transformers. You can tell which robot is punching and which one is being punched. And some of the scenes shot exclusively for IMAX are jaw-droppingly cool.

The Bad: Well, the script is a mess. The entire movie feels like it's being told to you by a hyperactive 10-year-old: "And then this guys comes in…and then he hits this guy…Oh! I forget, they need this key thing to start the machine…and then the robot humps this girl and you see boobies and one of the robots has balls!" Bay tries to inject humor one minute (only problem: He's not funny) then tries for Black Hawk Down seriousness the next. So an experience that should be fun just...isn't. The movie is also a ridiculous two and a half hours long when a good hour of it could have been chopped with absolutely no impact on the plot (see: pot brownies). Plot points are also tossed aside with reckless abandon and continuity is beyond an afterthought—"Wait, Transformers can take human form now? Um, care to explain that?" "Nope! Too late, we're moving on!" And we still don't buy a kid like LaBeouf ditching Megan Fox and a Camaro that can change into a killer robot for Intro To Astronomy 101.

And the "Jar Jar" Goes to…: Tom Kenny (the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, kids!) voices a pair of twin robots called Mudflap and Skids. Let's just say he and Bay are apparently big fans of old-timey comedy.

Arbitrary Critic Rating: We give this two and a half Joel Siegels: