So you're gearing up for a weekend spent in the dark with your girl—before you load up that NetFlix queue or get online at Blockbuster, you need to have a solid, foolproof game plan.

That's where we come in.

Allow us to present our weekly DVD-siac Movie Three-Pack, a collection of recent releases and old favorites that we guarantee will get you lucky this weekend, in one way or another.

THE CHICK FLICK YOU CAN TOLERATE
Plan A: Show your sensitive side…within reason. Grab a "chick flick" that at least has some redeeming value so that you can stay awake along enough for her to reward your gallant show of sensitivity. This week, we recommend:

 

The Girlfriend Experience
On the surface, The Girlfriend Experience is a movie about relationships and the illusion of love, which pretty much sums up most of the flicks on her "to watch" list. But it at least stars real-life hardcore porn star Sasha Grey, so when you're caught later checking out the rest of her filmography online you can just say, "She was so compelling, I had to check out her earlier work."

THE GUY FLICK SHE CAN TOLERATE
Plan B: She has a headache, she has to get up early, her football injury is acting up—in short, you're looking at a dry night ahead. But, hey, you still want to spend some time together, so forgo the romance and put something that leans a little more on the "guy" side without leaving her in the cold. This week, we recommend:

 


Anvil! The Story of Anvil
The DVD cover is metal to the max, but we guarantee that the misadventures of real life wannabe rockers Robb Reiner and Steve "Lips" Kudlow will win her over. They are impossible to resist—their "aw shucks" Canadian-ness mixed with their undying love of thrash metal is a story you have to see to believe. And you both will laugh your asses off.

YOUR MOVIE
Plan C: That yawn means, "I'm getting some beauty rest, so why don't you put that diving rod of yours on ice and watch something without me?" The downside: No sex. The upside: You can watch the movie you really wanted to watch, her feelings or interest level be damned. This week, we recommend:

 

Screwballs
Oh, Blu-Ray. For every big budget Michael Bay movie that explodes in eye-popping CGI-ness on our hi-def TVs, you also provide a handy excuse to re-release…just about anything. Case in point: Screwballs. Do you need to see this in HD? No. Do you need to see it at all? Well, yes, because you remember watching this back in the day on late night cable before you ever saw real life boobies, and who doesn't want to relive that?