[Pictured: Crazy old man with a broken neck.]

 

Sylvester Stallone revealed last week that he suffered a broken neck on the set of his upcoming film The Expendables (filming a scuffle scene with "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, no less). The 63-year-old now has a metal plate in his neck, which got us thinking: Why is Sly so nuts these days, and how many other stars suffered badass injuries after filming their own stunts?

While everyone in Hollywood has been on the receiving end of some kind of on-set mishap (Ben Stiller had to get rabies shots after a ferret bit him on Along Came Polly, Viggo Mortensen broke two toes after kicking a helmet in Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, etc.), only a select few are worth standing up and slowly clapping for. Here are seven that deserved a round of applause (and whiskey shots, for the pain).

 

1. Harrison Ford

The Film: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)
The Flesh Wound/Fracture: Herniated disc
The Fallout: Insisting on performing your own stunts is all well and good, but once you've crossed the 40 threshold, it may be time to rethink that policy (unless you're Jackie Chan; see below). Ford took six weeks off from shooting to recover, and it would be five years before he made another action movie (which, oddly enough, was Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade). But at least this meant we got The Mosquito Coast, right? Uh, right?

 

 

2. Robert Downey, Jr.

The Film: Sherlock Holmes (2009)
The Flesh Wound/Fracture: Punched in the face and knocked unconscious
The Fallout: A hit movie, it seems. Downey took a powerhouse hook to the chin while filming a dockyard fight scene, which sent him flying and drooling blood. Medics carted him off to the hospital, but after getting six stitches in his mouth, he was back in action. We can understand someone wanting to punch out Downey's lights 10-15 years ago (the guy needed his legs broken after subjecting audiences to Heart and Souls), but post-Iron Man? The man's a national treasure.

 

 

3. Angelina Jolie

The Film: This year's Salt
The Flesh Wound/Fracture: A bumped noggin and cut between the eyes
The Fallout: Not too serious an injury, we know, but who's gonna argue with us for showing a hot picture of Angelina? Give the lady props; the mother of 27 still doesn't shy away from filming her own crazy action sequences (she plays a CIA operative in this flick). Whether or not Salt proves to be on the same level as Wanted remains to be seen, but we can pretty much guarantee you won't see another talking loom.

 

 

4. Dennis Quaid

The Film: Everybody's All-American (1989)
The Flesh Wound/Fracture: Broken collarbone
The Fallout: Tim Fox of the New England Patriots nailed Quaid during a scene that took place during a snow game; filming had to be stopped for weeks. It's shocking that Quaid went on to appear in two other football-themed flicks after getting steamrolled by Fox (even suiting up and taking another beating in Any Given Sunday). Sadly, the less-crazy of the Quaids did not suffer any debilitating injuries while making G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra.

 

 

5. Halle Berry

The Films: Die Another Day, Gothika, Catwoman...basically every attempt she's made to be an action star
The Flesh Wound/Fracture: Debris from a smoke grenade damaged her eye (and in a separate incident, she almost choked to death) on Die Another Day, suffered a broken arm filming Gothika, and smashed her head into stage lighting during a Catwoman night shoot
The Fallout: The accident-prone Berry wisely chose to sit out action flicks (except for 2006's X-Men: The Last Stand, where she just kind of stood around), had a kid, and has been pretty quiet the last few years. But needing a half-decade to bounce back from Catwoman doesn't seem all that far-fetched.

 

 

6. Jackie Chan

The Film: Pick a card, any card...every film he's made has left him smarting in some capacity. Just watch the closing credits to any of 'em.
The Flesh Wound/Fracture: Shit, where do we start? Watch the video below ... it contains more injuries than a Jonas brother losing his virginity.


The Fallout: A reputation as a man who gives his all for his audience...and should probably ask for more mattresses to fall onto. So for all of you complaining that he's now making movies like The Spy Next Door ... lay the hell off. Did he see how many times he's landed on his neck?!

 

 

7. Buster Keaton

The Film: Sherlock, Jr. (1932)
The Flesh Wound/Fracture: Broken neck
The Fallout: Don't let today's "I'll do anything to maintain the integrity of a scene!" actors fool you. Buster was the originator of "bust a move," breaking his neck after falling from a water tower and landing on a railroad track below. (It was for a scene in which he was supposed to get drenched, but the force of the water knocked him off the tower completely.) Keaton didn't even realize he'd broken his neck until 10 years later. A doctor, examining for a completely different ailment, inquired about how he'd fucked his neck up royally a decade before. Keaton's response was basically, "Shit, I guess that's what all those headaches were about." And he didn't need any friggin' metal plate.