His characters have superhuman talent and unbelievable luck, yet Matt Damon would rather be a schmo. The dude would probably turn down Chief Bikini Inspector...

<strong>Rannulph Junuh, <em>The Legend of Bagger Vance</em></strong>- The gift: Rannulph "Perfect Swing" Junuh is taught the secret of the perfect golf swing by the Fresh Prince.
The rejection: Drinky McChuggerkins chooses booze over remembering his golf gift. It takes a visit from DJ Jazzy Jeff's friend to remind him how to put his balls in the hole.

<strong>Private James Francis Ryan, <em>Saving Private Ryan</em></strong>- The gift: After all three of his brothers have been killed, the U.S. government decides to throw the Ryan family a bone by getting their one remaining son out of WWII.
The rejection: While Mr. Matt is given a free ticket out of hell, he decides to be a company man and sticks around long enough to see Tom Hanks take some shrapnel to the midsection.

<strong>Mike McDermott, <em>Rounders</em></strong>- The gift: Poker in the rear? No, poker genius in the house!
The rejection: While he can take down 99 percent of the world's poker players, he decides to quit the seedy underworld of cards to go into the altruistic world of law school. What a dick.

<strong>Tom Ripley, <em>The Talented Mr. Ripley</em></strong>- The gift: His unparalleled, um, talents allow Tom Ripley to fit into any social situation.
The rejection: His murderous impulses and homosexual longings force him to kill people and bone dudes. Actually, this one might be a toss-up.

<strong>Rudy Baylor, <em>The Rainmaker</em></strong>- The gift: A fresh-out-of-school lawyer tries his first case against what appears to be the world’s largest insurance company…and wins.
The rejection: He lets his law license expire and goes into a real moneymaking profession…teaching.

<strong>Loki, a.k.a. the Angel of Death, <em>Dogma</em></strong>- The gift: Though he's technically banished from heaven, Loki—the disgraced Angel of Death—can get back to paradise if he helps his friend Bartleby manipulate a loophole in Catholic dogma.
The rejection: Reluctant to partake in his pal's scheme, Loki is stripped of his angel wings and, as a result of becoming mortal, is killed. Smooth move, sucka.

<strong>Will Hunting, <em>Good Will Hunting</em></strong>- The gift: A troubled janitor at MIT finds out he’s a mathematical genius.
The rejection: He turns down a six-figure salary to “go see about a girl.” The girl is Minnie Driver.

<strong>Jason Bourne, <em>The Bourne Identity/Supremacy</em></strong>- The gift: As a scientifically engineered super spy/assassin, Jason Bourne uses his lethal hand-to-hand combat skills, multiple-language repertoire, and superior smarts to dominate anything in his path.
The rejection: Though he is literally the definition of a one-man army, amnesiac Bourne just wants to discover who he really is before settling into a normal life. It's the same sad excuse we give to our therapist and our sobriety counselor.