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The Ruins

Release Date: 
04/04/2008
MPAA Rating: 
MPAA: R
Star Rating: 
★★
Directed by: Carter Smith

The Skinny: File this under "Vacations Gone Horribly, Horribly Wrong." The promos are coy about who or what the monster is, but we'll tell you: It's an EVIL PLANT. (Go ahead, read that a few times; it might take some time to sink past your toupee.) Then said vine of doom terrorizes a group of vacationing twentysomethings.

The Good: The flick moves at a good clip, and has the sense to end abruptly—meaning you won't realize how little you enjoyed it until you're out in the parking lot. Also: Fans of the novel of the same name will find a more optimistic ending here.

The Bad: Unless your nickname involves some variation on the word "strangler"—Hillside Strangler, Boston Strangler, Old Petey the Merry Stranger, etc.—watching someone having his just-removed leg stumps cauterized with a hot frying pan probably isn't your idea of entertainment.

WTF? Watch the credits carefully. Ben "Maestro of Terror" Stiller produced.

Theater, DVD, or TNT in Five Years? Rent it. We know better than to suggest you read the book.