Release Date:
04/19/2002
Maybe were out of the loop, but isnt it customary that the cheesy amusement-park stunt show comes out after the movie, rather than being passed off as the movie? You know how those things always feature some low-rent stunt man in a bad costume dodging explosionswell, replace low-rent stunt man with The Rock and youve got The Scorpion King. (Actually, no need to replace that at all.)
Mark this day down on your calendar, because weve never said this before and well likely never say it again: We miss Brendan Fraser. The original Mummy movies were cornball fun because they had that Indiana Jonesesque adventure to cut down on some of the even cornier sword-and-sorcery elements. The Scorpion King is all sword-and-sorcery bollocks with no chaser, and it takes place in that magical Hollywood ancient time when Near Eastern rulers were British guys with mullets and leather pants. We had no idea the foundation of that culture came from the Manchester club scene. Now, we realize the Mummy movies werent exactly Discovery Channel documentaries, but The Scorpion King cant help but feel like a bloodier Hercules: The Legendary Journeys. Were sure The Rock will get better roles as, um, a guy who beats the stuffing out of people. (What? You think hes going to jump right into Robert Altman films?) So lets call this one beginnings bad luck and be done with it.
Mark this day down on your calendar, because weve never said this before and well likely never say it again: We miss Brendan Fraser. The original Mummy movies were cornball fun because they had that Indiana Jonesesque adventure to cut down on some of the even cornier sword-and-sorcery elements. The Scorpion King is all sword-and-sorcery bollocks with no chaser, and it takes place in that magical Hollywood ancient time when Near Eastern rulers were British guys with mullets and leather pants. We had no idea the foundation of that culture came from the Manchester club scene. Now, we realize the Mummy movies werent exactly Discovery Channel documentaries, but The Scorpion King cant help but feel like a bloodier Hercules: The Legendary Journeys. Were sure The Rock will get better roles as, um, a guy who beats the stuffing out of people. (What? You think hes going to jump right into Robert Altman films?) So lets call this one beginnings bad luck and be done with it.