May the Fourth be with you! We recognize the most overlooked characters in the series.
<strong>9. Drunken Jawas (<em>Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope</em>)</strong>- As Luke Skywalker and Ben Kenobi are about to enter Mos Eisley Cantina, we see these three hooded barflies slumped in a doorway. Apparently, they have already had more blue milk than they can handle. How late could it be, noon? Who do you guys think you are, us?
<strong>8. Clumsy Stormtrooper (<em>Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope</em>)</strong>- We didn't even realize it, but Stumbles McBlasterson (who elegantly smacks his forehead on a Death Star doorway) was our first clue that Stormtroopers weren't a highly trained fighting force, but rather a bunch of schmucks cloned from an equally clumsy Aussie bounty hunter. And all this time we thought it was just the new guy's first day with the helmet.
<strong>7. Fake Mace Windu (<em>Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace</em>)</strong>- With all of Naboo celebrating Anakin Skywalker's (cough) entirely accidental (cough) space fighter heroics, Mace Windu sent a body double to take his place. He's a major Jedi, man, he can't be attending every fucking ceremony. So what if he tries to pass off another brother as himself—with only about four black people in the entire galaxy, it's not like anyone's going to notice.
<strong>6. Asshole Imperial Officer (<em>Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope</em>)</strong>- It's one thing to proudly wear a black uniform and serve an evil dictatorship, but you don't have to go and be a racist asshole, too. His snide remark about Chewbacca ("Where are you taking this thing?") got him straight-up shot in the grill by Chewie's boy, Han Solo.
<strong>5. John Ratzenberger (<em>Star Wars: Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back</em>)</strong>- Ladies and gentlemen, the hero of the rebellion, Cliff Clavin! Granted, Cliffy does little more than stand around looking interested as Princess Leia rattles on about ion cannons and junk, but the fact that he's even there fills us with joy. Just imagine him cornering some private and bending his ear with useless Wampa factoids.
<strong>4. Low Self-Esteem Pilot (<em>Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope</em>) </strong>- When you're a ragtag group of rebels about to embark on an all-out assault on a weapon the size of a planet, a little optimism is essential. But this mopey bowl cut whines that actually hitting the Death Star's exhaust point is "impossible, even for a computer." Whatever happened to a little "go team"?
<strong>10. Ill-Fitted Rebel (<em>Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope</em>)</strong>- It's a little known fact that the Rebel Alliance had a kick-ass health program. This intrepid rebel soldier lost so much weight after his steady diet of Alderaanian protein shakes that he's swimming in his uniform. Poor guy can't even run without holding onto his pants for dear life.
<strong>3. Captain Obvious (<em>Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope</em>)</strong>- What was this rebel pilot's contribution to the Death Star assault? "The guns. They've stopped." Well, thank you! Got anything else to add? Maybe, "The TIE fighters are shooting at us," or "My flight suit smells like corn chips," or "Hey, I think my ship is about to get blown up…" If you had kept your mouth shut, maybe you'd have been around for The Empire Strikes Back.
<strong>2. Jimmy Smits (<em>Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith</em>)</strong>- If you thought the black characters had it rough, check out Star Wars' entire Hispanic population: Jimmy Smits. (Fun fact: Also network TV's entire Hispanic population.) And, of course, he gets little to do besides hang around long enough to scream "No!" and adopt a white baby.
<strong>1. Stoner Ewok (<em>Star Wars: Episode VI: Return of the Jedi</em>)</strong>- Say you and your friends are just chilling around a campfire while some shiny gold robot tells you a story filled with sound effects—wouldn't you fire up a bowl, too? This Ewok takes a long hit from his pipe and nods approvingly as if to say, "Man, Chief Chirpa's shit is da bomb! And that gay robot's starting to trip me out. Who else is hungry?"
<strong>Honorable Mention: Almost Luke Skywalker (<em>Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope</em>)</strong>- Red Leader was the first to take a shot at blowing up the Death Star, and came within inches of taking Luke's place as hero of the universe. He gleefully exclaimed, "It's away!" like a basketball player calling his shot before it sinks. Sadly, he bricked. Looks like it's time to send in the rookie…
<strong>Honorable Mention: Janson (<em>Star Wars: Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back</em>)</strong>- Few rebel pilots get shout-outs unless they're named Luke Skywalker, but Janson rode shotgun with fellow underrated pilot Wedge during the snow battle on Hoth and took out the first AT-AT. Where's his medal and incestuous kiss, huh? Let's hope at least Wedge sympathized and bought Janson a beer afterward.
<strong>Honorable Mention: Officer Sassy Pants (<em>Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope</em>)</strong>- Most Imperial officers who give Darth Vader lip find themselves flopping around on the floor like freshly caught salmon. But for some reason, this guy second-guesses the Dark One and gets away with it! Obviously, this guy has incriminating pictures of Emperor Palpatine and his "apprentice" hidden away somewhere.