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This Week’s Movies Rated (By Dogs)

Dredd, End Of Watch & House At The End Of The Street (in other news: Our dogs can talk).

 

Dredd 3D

Out September 21, Rated R

 


Photo Courtesy of Lionsgate | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012

 

Holly’s take:

“This movie was fucking awesome! Crazy violent, non-stop action and a great cast. It was kinda like The Raid: Redemption but with a rock-hard sci-fi future cop clearing out a building full of drug-dealers one blood-drenched floor at a time. I’m going to re-enact some of the more gory parts later tonight with a squirrel. Because fuck squirrels!”

 

Dexter’s take:

“I was especially impressed at the way the filmmakers avoided everything that made the 1995 Judge Dredd movie with Sylvester Stallone and – ugh – Rob Schneider so terrible. This was much closer in tone to the original British comic books and it definitely worked better for it. I was also very impressed by the smell of my mailman’s butt this morning.”

 

Billie’s take:

“THAT SCENE WHERE THEY ALL TOOK THE DRUGS THAT MAKE EVERYTHING GO IN SLOW MOTION MADE MY BRAIN GO WOOOOEEEOOEOOOEOOO WARRGHHH OH GOD I FUCKING LOVE ROLLING ABOUT IN STUFF WARRGHHH!”

 


Photo Courtesy of Lionsgate | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012

 

End Of Watch

Out September 21, Rated R

 


Scott Garfield / Soul Productions, LLC | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012

 

Holly’s take:

“This was a pretty decent movie – I liked the idea of an ordinary-cops-vs-drug-dealers movie done in a found-footage style, as it made it all seem much more real. Like that time I eviscerated a frog and left it in my owner’s shoe with a note warning her to accept my bribes, next time.”

 

Dexter’s take:

“I actually found this to be rather a chilling portrait of the influx of drug cartels into urban environments. You know, the socio-economic implications of wide-scale distribution of narcotics into – ooh, chew toy! Chew toy!”

 

Billie’s take:

“THE SHAKY CAM MADE ME WANT TO RUN IN CIRCLES SO I DID AND THEN I DID A PUKE AND THEN I ROLLED IN IT.”

 


Scott Garfield / Soul Productions, LLC | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012

 

House At The End Of The Street

Out September 21, Rated  PG-13

 


Relativity Media | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012

 

Holly’s take:

“This one’s about a woman whose daughter gets involved with the only survivor of a brutal family murder years earlier. I haven’t seen it yet, but frankly, horror movies make me pee on the rug, so I probably won’t be allowed to.”  

 

Dexter’s take:

“I find Jennifer Lawrence to be a fine and capable actress, capable of conveying a wide range of believable emotions and certainly more than able to carry the weight of a major motion picture on her slender shoulders. I would very much like to hump her leg.”

 

Billie’s take:

“THEY GAVES ME SOME ACEPROMAZINE ‘CAUSE I KEPT BARKING AT THE DRAPES WHAT IS THIS I DON’T KNOW WHERE I BLUUurghhhh”

 


Relativity Media | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012

 

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To see behind the scenes of End Of Watch star Natalie Martinez' super-hot Maxim shoot, go here!