The return of Mad Men's office poli-tricks reminds us that mindlessly slaving in a 4x4 cube has its benefits.
Cindy (Mila Kunis), Extract-
Most of us rip off our company by being awful at our jobs. Cindy's plan to seduce an entire plant and make off with purses, settlement money and a luxury car shows the kind of out-of-the-box thinking employers always say they're looking for.
Miss Stein (Robyn Hilton), Blazing Saddles- The amply appointed personal secretary to Governor William J. LePetomane proves where the white women at in 1874 frontier America. Skills include sitting, dictation and breasts that double as an early form of office intercom.
Cerie Xerox (Katrina Bowden), 30 Rock-
No one can say for sure how the inappropriately dressed assistant to Liz Lemon got her job, but as with anyone about whom that can be said, expect her to be an upper-level executive before age 30.
Betty Brant (Elizabeth Banks), Spider-Man 1-3-
Brief, but beckoning, Betty's time on screen gives our arach-nerd protagonist the feeling that if things don't work out with MJ, he's got a fallback. And, like anyone in history who thought he had a shot with the hottest girl in the office, he's wrong.
Dani (Rachel Miner), Californication- A cautionary tale for anyone tempted to hire a sexy Suicide Girl as your personal assistant/submissive: she's going to hijack your business, steal your wife, and bollix up your macchiato order every time. Worth it.
Jennifer Elizabeth Marlowe (Loni Anderson), WKRP in Cincinnati- She doesn't type, take dictation, or make coffee, yet WKRP's receptionist is its highest-paid staffer--and worth every cent. Unflappable amid the station's many mishaps, she's the sassy tigress that the Sex and the City chicks think they are.
Summer Finn (Zooey Deschanel), 500 Days of Summer-
The kind of inviolable, doe-eyed angel you can feel good about admiring from across the workplace. Until she stabs to death every tender notion you had about love and happiness and leaves you a worthless pile. Still really cute, though.
Miss Stone (Halle Berry), The Flintstones-
In post-racial Bedrock, Miss Stone's pluck and persuasion would have netted her a job atop the organizational structure at Slate and Co. Instead, her skills are squandered on some fat, white exec unfit for his job. The more things change…
Diana Christensen (Faye Dunaway), Network-
Comely, unflinching and downright psychic, Diana saw the last 30 years of shitty television programming coming before even Bunim-Murray Productions did.
Evey Hammond (Natalie Portman), V for Vendetta-
If you spot this adorable office assistant turned revolutionary on your floor, stick close, because this girl's going places. Also, she won't rat you out for committing wanton acts of terror, which is a plus.