XXX: State of the Union

Straight out of Are We There Yet?, a crazy motherfucker named Ice Cube is the US Government's newest secret weapon ready to kick ass and change names. This time, instead of traversing the globe via snowboard, Cube's XXX must thwart a corrupt defense secretary (Willem Dafoe) and his plans to terrorize Capitol Hill. Badass motherfucker Samuel L. Jackson (seeing the trend here?) returns as XXX's bristly mentor, and the two spend the movie chasing bad guys while using enough high-tech gadgetry to put Q out to stud. In keeping with the franchise, every chase scene ends with an explosion, every conversation ends with a zinger, and every movie ends with a sequel plug. Throughout the senses-bludgeoning action, the flick rolls out a variety of ride-candy—from monster trucks to army tanks—and blares a hip-hop–heavy soundtrack that should blow the preposterous action sequences right out of your head. And if Ice Cube doesn't do it for you as an action hero, at least you can rest easy in the knowledge that Vin Diesel no longer has any influence on national security.