Sure, Carey has sold a trillion albums, but her strip-mall fan base is more fickle than Wilt Chamberlain in a room full of groupies. One nervous breakdown and one bad movie (OK, one cinematic crime against humanity), and they split. Will this ballad-heavy bid for respect restore Mariah’s shine? Nope. Thick with survivor schmaltz (“Through the Rain”) and one laugh-out-loud clunker (a limp cover of Def Leppard’s “Bringin’ on the Heartbreak”), this comeback is over before it begins.