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9 Signs That Satan Took Over Last Night’s Grammy Awards

AJ McCarron called the Grammy’s demonic. But just how evil were they?

During last night’s Grammy Awards, University of Alabama quarterback A.J. McCarron tweeted the following: Is it just me or are some of the Grammy performances so far seem to be really demonic?? Looks like there is a lot of evil in the world..

Now, we know that the McCarron family isn’t very adept at Twitter, and we know AJ is a pretty religious guy. But. . . demonic? Evil!?! We went back to look at the evidence, and found nine signs that McCarron may have been on to something...


1. Katy Perry is a Witchy Woman

Photo: FilmMagic/ Getty Images | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2014 

We think this may have been what set AJ off. In her performance of “Dark Horse,” the former Maxim Hot 100 champ channeled American Horror Story: Coven. Or maybe The Crucible? The Witches of Waverly Place? Who knows? Regardless, the former Christian pop singer put on a distinctly witchy show. Broomsticks as stripper poles, though? We can cosign that.

 

2. Madonna Wore White to Someone Else’s Wedding
When Madonna wore that wedding dress during the first VMA’s, we had a sneaking suspicion she wasn’t actually a virgin. We let it slide. But to show up to a wedding wearing white, when you’re not the one getting married? That’s just wrong. And when you show up to 34 weddings while wearing white, and you’re not the one getting married? That’s Satan’s work.
 

3. Robots Take Over
Machines conquering humanity? That’s some dystopian shit right there. Daft Punk took the coveted Album of the Year trophy last night, but we still have only a vague notion of what the French duo really looks like under those helmets. Assuming they’re not really robots, they could be anything. Vampires? Demons? Milli Vanilli? Pure evil!
 


4. Pharrell’s Weird Wizard Hat
Speaking of Daft Punk, what was up with collaborator Pharrell’s headgear? Observers compared it to Smoky the Bear, the Man in the Yellow Hat from Curious George, and – most significantly – Hogwarts’ Sorting Hat from the Harry Potter sreies. Wizard shit. Spells. Witchcraft. You get the routine.


5. Imagine Dragons
Seriously, do it. Imagine dragons. Have you imagined dragons yet? Okay…the demons have now won your soul.


6. Lorde’s Black Fingertips
That Lorde would be the type of sulky teen who would paint her fingernails black is hardly a surprise. But the New Zealand songstress didn’t stop there, instead going whole hog. Did she dip her fingers in melted black wax? Roast them over an open flame? One thing’s for sure: It was something dark. As is – if you believe most teen music fans out there – her Grammy victory.
 


7. The Highwaymen Killed It
Originally consisting of Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, Kris Kristofferson, and Johnny Cash (RIP), the Highwaymen were country music’s real bad boys, true outlaws. They’re named after criminals, dadnabbit, and even with Blake Shelton filling in for the Man in Black, this is a pretty damn evil supergroup.



8. Macklemore and Ryan Lewis Dominate the Rap Awards
Not to take anything away from the Seattle-based duo, but Kanye West, Drake, Jay-Z, and Kendrick Lamar all released albums this year. Whether it’s Satan’s doing or not, their sweep is a sign that something’s not right in Grammyland.
 

9. Chicago. Just. . . Chicago.
A five-minute medley of Chicago songs? Fine. McCarron’s right.
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