MAXIM: You and Joe Perry have known each other for 40-odd years. What’s one thing he knows about you that most people don’t?
Steven Tyler: That I’m a better shot than he is. When we were kids we’d spend our summers walking around the woods in New Hampshire with .22s and shotguns.

That’s fine if you don’t have any anger issues.
I used to get so pissed off. Back in ’73 we opened up for the Kinks, and I had maybe four feet of room on the stage—the drummer wouldn’t move his set, the cocksucker. How do I fucking dance? We had one deli tray for the whole band, and it was mystery meat. If you held it up to a light bulb, you could see the bubbles. So every night I’d come offstage and turn the table over. And the guys would all yell at me because now the deli tray was on the ground and they couldn’t eat the food, unless they picked it up and washed it.

Judging from the way you looked in the ’70s, you weren’t eating much.
You wanted to eat a little something even though you were so coked up you couldn’t swallow. But a couple of the old road crew just told me what they used to do: When Joe Perry yelled at his roadie, they’d get back at him by wiping the bologna under their arm- pits. I got on the phone and said, “Hey, guys, remember when you used to yell at me for chucking the food around? Guess what? I saved your asses.”

There hasn’t been an Aerosmith studio album in five years. What’s up?
We were gonna just do it, then we’d be off our label and we could move on. But once you have some songs that deserve better than that, it takes time. We were working on it hard for a few weeks—then I got walking pneumonia. The doctors said it looked like I had cotton candy in my lungs.

You’ve famously done some serious damage to yourself over your career. How did you end up back in rehab last year?
It was from doing this for 40 years [Tyler does his trademark side-to-side dance]. With all this lateral shit, my toes were all out of joint, and I had scar tissue around the nerves. When you walk it hurts so fucking bad. A doctor said, “You gotta get that scar tissue taken out.” So I did, and the drugs they gave me were right up my alley: Percodan, Percocet, Oxy-Contin. You get out of the hospital and you’re on the stuff for three months. It got to be too much. First of all, it doesn’t get rid of the pain. Then, if you do more of it, you start nodding out, and I didn’t like that head space. I didn’t get sober the first time around for nothing. The only way to get off that shit is to go back 
to rehab. That or you can move in with your grandma.

What do your ex-wives and girlfriends have in common?
Every child I ever had, whether I married the mother or not, I was so in love with her mom it didn’t matter. Whoever it was, when I fell in love I’d fall hard. My whole life is zero to 60, anyway. I wasn’t there a lot for my kids, so I’m very grateful they forgave me. Being in a band, if you’re playing it right—like we were back then—you’re so fucked up you don’t even know what you’re doing.

So what exactly were you doing?
I was talking last night about all the blow we did. When we toured with AC/DC in Europe in the ‘70s, we’d do four shows in a row and one day off. Man, it was inhuman what Bon Scott and I did. We lived in the bathroom.

As a kid, did you ever think you’d end up where you are today?
Well, I grew up in the Bronx, and we had a gang called the Green Mountain Boys. We’d smoke pot and fuck girls, then camp out in someone’s backyard. I mean, I didn’t have too much going 
for me, and life could be pretty brutal—if you didn’t watch out, you got your ass kicked after school. But the other guys in my gang would watch out for me, and all you could do was try and be cool and hip and get a girlfriend. Then seeing the Stones for the first time in their fucking high-heeled boots…the feeling was just beyond. It made me ache inside, I wanted it so bad.

Are you a religious guy?
I can be. I’m writing a book right now called Does the Noise in My Head Bother You?—and looking back, it seems like shit was predestined. Is it drug addiction or is it dreams-come-true addiction? You’ve got nothing and you start building with two pieces of wood, and before you know it you’re 30 feet up in the air on a ladder. I’ve made dreams come true that most people couldn’t even get close to. People say, “Be careful, it was the Big Man upstairs.” I don’t know who it was. But I do remember writing at least 23 albums, and I know how long it took to write those songs.

You guys are headed out on the road yet again this summer. How long does it take Aerosmith to get up to speed when you’re rehearsing for a big tour?
Two weeks. And then you’re moving every muscle. You become whatever you were when you were 15. Basically, you’re throwing a party for 20,000 people every single night. I really 
feel like I owe the fans something. You want to play “Dream On” just the way they heard it when they got laid the first time.