Glitter

Mariah Carey is like an unstable ex-girlfriend: She still looks great in clingy clothes, but you know she’s bad news the moment she shows up on your doorstep. Glitter, the soundtrack to Mariah’s movie of the same name, is really the last straw. Its upbeat pop tunes are incoherent messes with instruments banging against each other, and somehow her dog-whistle vocals manage to get drowned out by an endless parade of special guests, such as Busta Rhymes rapping in tongues. Even as Mariah tries desperately to get back in touch with “the street,” the influences of her chest-thumping archrival Celine Dion are everywhere to be found. There aren’t enough low-cut dresses in the world to make this excusable.