March 29, 2010
With The Runaways now in theaters, we booked a private show with some of the hottest, rowdiest women of the concert stage and silver screen.
Beyoncé-
Acting gig: The Pink Panther (2006)
Has there ever been a multiplatinum recording artist who's made so many terrible movies (Goldmember, The Fighting Temptations, The Pink Panther, Obsessed) while looking so insanely hot? We think not.
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Alicia Keys-
Acting gig: Smokin' Aces (2007)
Making her film debut as an ice-cold assassin, Alicia made gunplay sexier than Big Bad Mama, Thelma & Louise, and all of the Resident Evil flicks combined. She really should ditch that piano more often...
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Taylor Swift-
Acting gig: Valentine's Day (2010)
Yeah yeah yeah, we know Taylor's technically a country singer with pop leanings and doesn't exactly rock out, but she's a mega fox and deserves some sort of positive recognition for this sappy rom-com that all of our girlfriends dragged us to.
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Joss Stone-
Acting gig: Eragon (2006)
After careful deliberation, we can't even pretend to act like we've actually seen this poorly reviewed kids' flick. But up-and-coming blue-eyed soul queen Joss Stone is featured prominently as some kind of herbalist witch, so maybe it deserves a spot on the Netflix queue.
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Mind, Body & Soul album review
Nancy Sinatra-
Acting gig: Speedway (1968)
Although she first appeared in 1966's The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini (a movie with a title so awesome, there's no way our expectations could've been met), we're giving props to the Chairman's rebellious little angel for making a halfway decent flick with Elvis.
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10 Worst 'Going Back to the Well' Albums
Madonna-
Acting gig: Body of Evidence (1993)
Madonna's tried to pass herself off as a rocker in recent years by brandishing an electric guitar on stage (the jury's still out on whether or not it's ever actually plugged in; we really hope not). We can safely assert that her film career put the "rock" in "rocky."
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Madonna and Guy Ritchie in the World Series of Divorces
Avril Lavigne-
Acting gig: Fast Food Nation (2006)
After lending her voice to a teenaged possum for the animated flick Over the Hedge, Avril was given a slightly more glamorous role in Fast Food Nation; as glamorous as talking about "prison camps for cows" can get, anyway.
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Katy Perry-
Acting gig: The Smurfs (2011)
You won't actually be able to scope out Katy in the flesh on the big screen next summer, but you can at least hear her give voice to an all-CGI Smurfette. We don't feel as strange about that adolescent crush now.
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Russell Brand's Celebrity Conquests
Liz Phair-
Acting gig: American Dreams (2004)
Appearing in a couple of forgettable indie flicks, Liz's highest-profile spot in front of the camera was on an episode of NBC's American Dreams, where she played "Walk in the Room" singer Jackie DeShannon. Sorry, no nipple slips like there were on her first album cover.
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Susanna Hoffs-
Acting gig: The Allnighter (1987)
The Bangles' frontwoman starred in only one film - a notorious flop directed by her mother - but at least she gave us that classic scene dancing in front of the mirror in her underwear. Strip like an Egyptian!
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Willa Ford-
Acting gig: Friday the 13th (2009)
If you blinked you might've missed Willa's turn as a victim in last year's Friday the 13th reboot, but we heartily recommend the direct-to-DVD thriller Impulse, where she's cast as a kinky housewife who doesn't mind running around in her birthday suit.
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Jane Wiedlin-
Acting gig: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)
The plucky rhythm guitarist from the Go-Go's had a memorable role as the ill-fated telegram singer in 1985's Clue before kicking ass - and being mistaken for Noah's wife - as Joan of Arc with Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Ted "Theodore" Logan.
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God Bless the Go-Go's album review
Fergie-
Acting gig: Grindhouse
It didn't take much range to play a singer in both Poseidon and Nine; it took even less to play a busty lesbian who had her brains eaten out of the back of her head by zombies in Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror installment of Grindhouse. But we ain't complainin'.
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Hottest Women of Disaster Movies
Jewel-
Acting gig: Ride With the Devil (1999)
Apparently being crazy-hot, living in a van in Alaska, and writing really bad poetry qualifies you to get a marquee role in an Ang Lee Civil War flick, even if you've had little to no acting experience.
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Nightmare Celebrity Girlfriends
Goodbye Alice in Wonderland album review
Norah Jones-
Acting gig: My Blueberry Nights (2007)
Norah broke away from the sleepy piano mom music and actually rocked out on her most recent album; we wish her performance in this little-seen indie flick about blueberry pie rocked a bit more, but at least she was nice to look at.
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Hottest Daughters of Rock Stars
Gwen Stefani-
Acting gig: The Aviator (2004)
The woman with the greatest stomach in rock sadly kept it fully covered when she appeared as 1930s blonde bombshell Jean Harlow in Martin Scorcese's Howard Hughes biopic. Rumor has it she got the role 'cuz Marty's daughter was a big No Doubt fan.
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Love. Angel. Music. Baby. album review
Sheryl Crow-
Acting gig: Cougar Town (2010)
C;mon, don't pretend like you don't watch Cougar Town; you know you saw Sheryl on this week's episode as a 40s-ish wine dealer on the prowl for a hunk. Hey, if it makes you happy...
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Deborah Harry-
Acting gig: Videodrome (1983)
Blondie's Debbie Harry plays an S&M freak who enjoys having sex while watching victims get tortured on a controversial television show. Half of that sounds pretty good to us.
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The Curse of Blondie album review
Joan Jett-
Acting gig: Light of Day (1987)
Kristen Stewart plays Joan in The Runaways (expanding to wide release on April 9), but Joan herself tackled a meaty role opposite Michael J. Fox in this bar-band drama. It probably wasn't much of a stretch to play a troubled rocker, though.
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We Like to Watch: Joan Jett on Letterman
Shirley Manson-
Acting gig: Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles (2008)
The fiery Garbage singer took advantage of her band's hiatus by showing up on FOX as the co-owner of a tech company/T-1001 robot. We're certain she delivered a witty quip somewhere along the line, even if we never watched that show.
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