Catching up with Dr. Germ

In May 2003, coalition forces took custody of Dr. Rijab Rashid Taha. You may know her as Dr. Germ, Saddam Hussein’s biological—weapons—loving lass. On the eve of her possible release, we visited Germany to see what was cookin’.

STUFF: Do you regret using science for evil instead of good?
DR. GERM: That is a lie, infidel! Ha-ha! I laugh at the absurdity. Ha! If I made these so–called biological weapons, then where are they?

What are all those vials and tubes under your bed?
Er, they were there when I got here.

So you didn’t conduct experiments with biological weapons?
Correctamundo.

Then why is the flesh on your back crackling and bubbling and fizzing?
It’s just a bad cold. It’s very drafty in here.

Did you and Saddam ever have relations?
You bloodsucking, plundering son of a godless heathen!…Meaning no. He’s not into chicks.

You mean Saddam likes–
Goats. There’s not a hoofed hole in the Middle East that dude hasn’t plugged.

Dr Germ