Say what you will about NASCAR drivers, but one thing is certain: The ladies on their arms are gorgeous. Go to any given race on any given weekend and you’ll see so many beautiful women that you’ll leave the track with grease spots in your pants. But for all this eye candy, one beauty stands out above the rest. Her name is Carley Bobby (played by the stunning Leslie Bibb). In fact, if there’s one thing that can take our attention off of Ricky Bobby’s daring exploits on the track, it’s the blonde in his corner. We sat down with Ricky’s better half to discuss spending sprees, French racer Jean Girard and having sex with a living legend.
STUFF: How did you and Ricky Bobby meet?
CARLEY: I flashed him in the Victory Lane. Then he had 300 roses sent to my apartment. Two days later, we were married.
Tell us about your honeymoon.
We went to Sandals. It was wonderful. We made love for 67 of the 95 hours we were there.
Is Ricky a demon in the sack?
Ricky is gifted when he’s horizontal, there’s no denying it. He’s very fast, but skilled. We made a sex tape once, and it was so good, Paris Hilton stole it. So when it comes to sex, we rock the block, baby.
What about his sideburns? Do you have any say in his grooming process?
I do have a say, but we have a team of three hairstylists that care for the sideburns—Oliver, Denise and Scotty. They do a great job. They live in our guesthouse and are on call 24/7.
What are the duties of a NASCAR wife?
I sometimes joke that Ricky has the easy job. [Laughs] Let me tell you, it’s exhausting. I sleep till 11, then I yell downstairs to make sure the nanny showed up for the kids, then I do my spa treatments till 3, and then I shop. I’ll spend $5,000 to $10,000 a trip. Ricky got me the American Express black card, but it wasn’t carrying its weight, so American Express created a new card just for me. It’s called the American Express translucent card. It looks like you’re holding nothing. You can buy the damn Atlanta Braves with that thing.
Do you ever worry about Ricky being unfaithful when he’s out on the road?
Baby, after one night with me, any man acts like a priest around other chicks. I got the goods. This ass has stopped traffic during a chemical-spill evacuation. The bass player from Nickelback once told me he’d cut off his pinky to touch this derriere. So no, I don’t worry. And besides, if he did fool around on me, I’d knock him in the head with his coin collection and drown him in the race car–shaped hot tub.
Who is the most handsome driver on the circuit today?
Probably Jimmie Johnson or maybe Dale Jr.—oh, wait. I mean, my husband. Can you please not print those first two answers? Please? I’ll give you a $100 gift certificate to the Cheesecake Factory.
We’ll think about it. Meanwhile, talk to us about Jean Girard. Do you think the French have any business in NASCAR?
I don’t care for them. Everyone hates them, right? I mean, didn’t they attack us or try to kidnap the Bush twins or something?
What about the rumors that you had an affair with Jean?
Jean and I didn’t have an affair. We were entering/exiting a Porta-John at the Bristol track, and there was an undeniable moment. I whispered to him that I could turn him straight with one zipper zip, and he called me a “capitalistic, soulless whore.” I don’t know what that means, but it kind of took my breath away.
Talk to us about your unique sense of style. Who are you wearing these days?
I make a lot of my own clothes. I have my own label, Just Carley. I’m heavily influenced by the work of Jaclyn Smith and Christina Aguilera. Those are two ladies with undeniable style. But every Tuesday is Stevie Nicks Day. I feather my hair and wear flowing robes, and I spin a lot. It’s really invigorating.
As a mother of two, what is your parenting philosophy? Does it stem at all from Ricky’s idea of “If you ain’t first, you’re last”?
Exactly. We’re raising our children—Walker, 10, and Texas Ranger, 7—to be alpha males. We want them to dominate at everything, whether it’s coloring or football or state capitals. And if they can’t dominate, then maybe the activity wasn’t that great. Like soccer. Screw soccer. But we can be strict with them, too. They each get an allowance of $1,000 a week, but if they don’t come home at night, I might knock that down to $900.
What do you see as your life after racing?
I think Ricky and I will probably own a chain of Cheesecake Factory restaurants, and maybe Ricky will run for the Senate, and our boys will both be racing, and maybe we will own a race team of our own. And somehow, through science, I’m still 29.
Tell us your favorite joke.
Two Jews walk into a 7-Eleven…no, wait. Ricky told me not to tell that one. I don’t joke around. I kick ass and make money, sweetie.
Finish this sentence. In my next life I want to come back as…
Me. Why mess with perfection? Or maybe as Jessica Simpson. No, just me.
If you could give a message to women across America, what would it be?
Girls, you gotta get yours, and once you get it, keep getting more. And if you don’t have the body, don’t try and show it off. There’s nothing wrong with staying indoors a lot if you’re ugly or fat.