One woman’s quest to achieve orgasm at 5,000 feet.
Photo: Miles Aldridge / Trunk Archive
My boyfriend and I* are getting busy, when I suddenly feel the Earth move. Only this time, the Earth is thousands of feet below us.
Our tryst is cut short by some turbulence, and I’m brought back to our less-than-romantic surroundings in the six-passenger cabin of Amelia, a rickety Piper Cherokee 6 aircraft equipped with heart-shaped pillows, plastic champagne flutes, and a polyester blanket. I try to get back in the mood, but I can’t help thinking of what lies behind the thin white curtain just three feet from us: our pilot, Kent Dobbins, an affable, gray-haired man who seems like the “blushing” type.
Checking the “Join Mile-High Club” box off my bucket list is supposed to be a fun way for my boyfriend and me to celebrate our anniversary. Although the process of entry might seem straightforward (find willing partner, wait for plane to rise to 5,280 feet, go for it), carrying out these steps can be tricky. The logistics of waiting for the right time—free from turbulence and vigilant flight attendants—can be frustrating in itself. Then there’s the issue of moving within a coffin-size bathroom, not to mention the mandatory (and decidedly unsexy) task of sanitizing the toilet seat. It’s probably why, according to surveys, only four percent of Americans have achieved in-flight intercourse—even though 33 percent fantasize about it.
Stripping seductively in tight quarters isn’t an option, but the teamwork required serves as effective foreplay. Or so I tell myself. Honestly, I’m less turned on than focused on the task at hand: Must achieve high-altitude orgasm.
After we land, we’re greeted by owners David MacDonald and Sharon McGee, who present us with a certificate: “This is to certify that Mélanie Berliet performed the prescribed ritual and became eligible for membership in this exclusive club.”
Some might argue that my boyfriend and I took the easy way out, bypassing the old-fashioned way of joining the Mile-High Club. That Flamingo Air cheats the system by offering a watered-down version of the fantasy that removes the illicit thrill of getting caught. But our adventure wasn’t without its hurdles, and I’ll take the freedom to howl with abandon over the rush of getting away with the act on a crowded plane any day.
*Models pictured in photo are not the author and her boyfriend.
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