Your fantasy football team is 0–1, and somehow you have David Beckham as your starting kicker. Don't fret. Just pick up some of these waiver wire nuggets and you'll be king of your Fantasy Fiefdom in no time.

Pick 'Em Up
Quarterback:
Koy Detmer, Eagles
If you've got an extra bench spot, go ahead and take a chance. McNabb's chest injury could keep him out for longer than expected and if it does, it will give you packageable trade bait to the guy who took Donovan in the second round.

Gus Frerotte, Dolphins
This one comes with a huge caveat: This Sunday he's playing the Jets, whose D took it on the chin, nose, and forehead last week. Even still, only pick him up if you had Kyle Boller, Patrick Ramsey, and Doug Flutie on your squad.

Running Back:
Willie Parker, Steelers
He won't be playing for long, but should hold his own against the Texans' run D this week.

Brandon Jacobs, Giants
Pick this guy up and stash him on your bench if you're in a deep league. He's the short yardage back for the Giants, so he'll pile up a few goal line touchdowns, and if Tiki gets hurt he should become the main man in Big Blue's backfield.

Wide Receiver:
Frisman Jackson, Browns
Whoever the quarterback is for Cleveland tossed him eight balls in Week 1 and the Brownies are facing a terrible Packers D this week. Also, his name is Frisman.

Brandon Lloyd, 49ers
The Niners will be down early against the Iggles and will be forced to throw a lot. Brandon won't go crazy, but he should see more than his fair share of touches.

Tight Ends:
Dan Wilcox, Ravens
Dan may become a good dump-off for Anthony Wright as he learns how not to throw at opposing team's players. Plus they're playing the weak-D'ed Titans.

Kickers:
Next question.

Defense:
Detroit
They're playing the Bears. Yeah, the Chicago Bears led by high school quarterback Kyle Orton. Yeah, those Bears.


Put 'Em Down
If these guys are on your roster, make sure they're on the bench this weekend. Then get yourself a Fresca. Having your own NFL team is exhausting.

Quarterback:
Steve McNair, Titans
The Ravens defense might give him his annual career-ending injury this Sunday.

Running Back:
Cadillac Williams, Buccaneers
I know, it's so tempting to put him in after his huge day against the Vikings. But the Caddy won't have enough in the tank to drive over the Bills' debilitating defense.

Domanick Davis, Texans
DD will stand for "Destroyed By Steelers Defense" after this Sunday. OK, technically it should be DBSD, but you get my drift.

Wide Receiver:
Eric Moulds, Bills
The Bucs shut down Culpepper's Vikes last week, and, last time I checked, J.P. Losman was still the quarterback in Buffalo.

Tight Ends:
Jeremy Shockey, Giants
He's hurt. He has that hair. And he still has his stupid-looking face.

Defense:
Arizona
This squad may be in the top 10 by week 10, but they won't be in the top 10 x 10² against a humiliated St. Louis offense looking to run up some points in Week 2.