Racing Ruminations

Any hack columnist can predict the top five Coca-Cola 600 finishers. I predict the top five and the guy who will finish 17th!

LAST WEEK Top five: 2/5 17th: 0–1

SEASON Top five: 23/55 17th: 0–11

1. Jimmie Johnson

2. Mark Martin

3. Greg Biffle

4. Kurt Busch

5. Kevin Harvick

17. Casey Mears

I had always assumed that Kurt Busch was the biggest girl in the Busch family of drivers. Between the plastic surgery and the irrational hissy fits, Kurt is Ashlee Simpson without the acid reflux.

But then came Kyle's interview with NASCAR.com. Admitting that he listens to Train on his iPod is bad enough—but at least he also listens to Godsmack. His "must-see show" is Grey's Anatomy, with The OC and Desperate Housewives running second and third. I could even find a way to forgive those viewing habits if only because of Katherine, Autumn, Rachel, and, of course, Miss Hot 100 herself, Eva.

But there are some things that a man just can't tolerate, and both of those things are Tom Cruise and Matt LeBlanc—Kyle's favorite celebrities. Could you ever imagine the Allison brothers listening to pop rock, watching melodramas, or swooning for the star of the primate-to-DVD hit Ed? Hell, even Jeff Gordon wouldn't do that. Congratulations, Kyle: You are officially a 15-year-old girl.