"No, Chad. You can't even cheat 'just a little bit' this time."

NASCAR chairman Brian France is planning to tinker with the Chase for the Cup starting next year. He's not gone into details, but, most likely, everyone will hate whatever changes are made. Why? Because it's the God-and-Dale-Sr.-given right of every fan to bitch about anything NASCAR does. Basically, if it's not a 1965 Buick banging doors with a 1964 Studebaker in North Wilkesboro, everyone is going to hate it.

Compared to other changes NASCAR has made in the last several years (lucky dog, my ass!), the Chase really isn't that bad. The jostling for a spot in the top 10 in races 24–26 is exciting and the 10-race playoff provides enough drama to convince people to watch NASCAR during the NFL commercial breaks. France could leave the Chase alone and everything would be fine.

Of course, NASCAR officials have some sort of obsessive-compulsive disorder requiring them to tinker with everything constantly. So while you couldn't imagine the NBA adding a four-pointer, nothing NASCAR proposes as far as rules, points systems, or playoff formats would shock me.

Racing Ruminations

Any hack columnist can predict the top five Pepsi 400 finishers. I predict the top five and the guy who will finish 17th!

LAST WEEK Top five: 1/5 17th: 0–1

SEASON Top five: 29/80 17th: 0–16

1. Jimmie Johnson

2. Tony Stewart

3. Kurt Busch

4. Jeff Gordon

5. Mark Martin

17. Bobby Labonte

All the Chase really needs is a little more variety in the tracks and perhaps a tweaking of the points system to emphasize winning. Since messing with the points system probably involves logarithms and Euclidean geometry, I'll leave it to people smarter than me—or at least the same guys who thought a Chris Isaak concert at Infineon was a good idea—to figure out a new points system.

The biggest problem with the Chase right now is the five 1.5-mile tracks and the three one-mile tracks in the 10-race playoff. Cut back on those cookie cutters and get more variety. In no particular order, here would be my perfect 10 races for the Chase. (This is trying to be realistic, so don't post something stupid in the comments like "Rockingham and North Wilkesboro should be in there!" Just like disco and mustaches, those tracks are dead, dude—let it go.)

Atlanta (1.5 miler)

Charlotte (1.5 miler)

Dover (one miler)

Infineon (road course)

Las Vegas (1.5 miler—take away California's spring date and give Vegas an extra date. Use it as the final race of the season. Nothing is cooler than Vegas, baby!)

Martinsville (short track)

Phoenix (one miler - thanks to a reader for fixing my 1.5-miler error on this one)

Texas (1.5 miler)

Richmond (short track)

Talladega (superspeedway)