Racing Ruminations
Any hack columnist can predict the top five USG Sheetrock 400 finishers. I predict the top five and the guy who will finish 17th!
LAST WEEK
Top five: 2/5
17th: 0–1
SEASON
Top five: 31/85
17th: 0–17
 1. Matt Kenseth
 2. Kasey Kahne
 3. Tony Stewart
 4. Jimmie Johnson
 5. Kevin Harvick
 17. Elliott Sadler
After SoBe-sponsored Boris Said took a jab at Red Bull and Tony Stewart pimped Coke in Pepsi's Victory Lane, it's clear the sponsor wars are heating up in NASCAR. Here's who's winning corporate America's battles for your dollars on the track.

  • FedEx vs. UPS
    UPS' Dale Jarrett is driving like he works for the United States Postal Service, while Denny Hamlin has the FexEx car fighting for a spot in the playoffs. When it absolutely positively has to get to Victory Lane, go with Hamlin and FedEx.

  • Budweiser vs. Miller Lite
    In a personality contest, Miller Lite's Kurt Busch is a skunked case that you left in the trunk of your car for an entire summer while Dale Earnhardt Jr. is fresh from the Budweiser brewery. Junior's got the edge on the track as well, but Busch is making a hard charge toward playoff contention.

  • Lowe's vs. the Home Depot
    The do-it-yourself behemoths aren't just battling for who can provide the cheapest, most convenient place to buy that plastic floating thing that makes your toilet work. They're also two of the favorites to win the Cup. Jimmie Johnson and Lowe's have the advantage in points, cheating, and eyebrows; Tony Stewart and the Home Depot lead in top fives, climbing, and fat rolls.

  • Kellogg's vs. Cheerios
    Cheerios may be the perfect cereal for screaming toddlers, but Kellogg's is the official sponsor of enfants terribles. Kyle Busch's little hissy fits, however, haven't stopped him from staking a claim to a playoff spot. Bobby Labonte's 2006 wins match his Cheerios sponsor—0.

  • Crown Royal vs. Jack Daniel's
    The race on the track is tight, but Crown Royal's Jamie McMurray and his frosted tips beat Jack Daniel's Clint Bowyer and his flattop in the hair salon.

  • Cingular vs. Alltel
    Jeff Burton is getting plenty of playoff reception with his Cingular car in seventh, while 17th-place Ryan Newman and Alltel are getting nothing but static.