THE POWERLESS FIVE
It's a bittersweet week here at the Powerless Five. Michael Waltrip added to his punchline-ability (we think that's a word) by missing the race. On the other hand, another one of our favorite blown tires, Jeremy Mayfield, is making his final appearance on the Powerless Five this season. Unfortunately, only drivers who actually have a ride are eligible for the list (We think that rule sucks too, but our damn bosses won't budge!).

Name Rank LW

Elliott Sadler 5 —
He hasn't sniffed the top 20 in more than a month, but at least brighter days are ahead. Anywhere is better than the sinking ship at RYR.

Jeff Green 4 —
Green is probably the only driver Robert Yates Racings isn't considering for one of its rides next year.

Kasey Kahne 3 —
Bad news for desperate housewives everywhere: Kasey might not make the Chase after finishing worse than 30th for two straight weeks. Good news? He might need someone to treat his boo-boos after his hard wreck at Indy.

Michael Waltrip 2 2
In this time of war, economic uncertainty and Lucky Louie, we finally got a reason to hope this weekend: Mikey failed to make the race, marking the first race in 30 years without a Waltrip on the grid. Life seems a little better already.

Jeremy Mayfield 1 —
Plenty of people get the boot from their bosses (just ask anyone at Maxim.com). But don't feel bad for Mayfield, he'll probably land on his feet at Waltrip's new team. OK, we take it back. Feel really bad for him.