Parities? Suck on a Pair o Deez!

Maryland 24, Purdue 7       (MOV: 17 points)

NY Jets 23, Oakland 3       (MOV: 20 points)

OK, i get a do-over here. This game pretty much sucked monkey tits.

Christ, even college football's blowouts were closer.

Southern Cal 32, Michigan 18   (MOV: 14 points)

St. Louis 41, Minnesota 21       (MOV: 20 points)

That's what abc gets for treating this thing like the national goddamned championship.

College football's Minnesota could have lost by 20 to the Rams.

Louisville 24, Wake Forest 13   (MOV: 11 points)

Green Bay 26, Chicago 7       (MOV: 19 points)

Wake Forest won four freaking games in each of the last two years and was still up 13–10 in the fourth quarter.

Chicago is the best team in the NFC.

Penn State 20, Tennessee 10   (MOV: 10 points)

Seattle 23, Tampa Bay 7       (MOV: 16 points)

Knotted at 10 with 10 minutes to go in the game.

Knot a good game.

Kentucky 28, clemson 20       (mov: 8 points)

N. England 40, Tennessee 23 (MOV: 17 points)

The Wildcats' first bowl win in over 20 years.

Vinny Testaverde's obscure-record-breaking 20th touchdown in as many consecutive years. No, not Vinny Testaverde jr.

South Carolina 44, Houston 36   (MOV: 8 points)

Baltimore 19, Buffalo 7       (MOV: 12 points)

Eight lead changes.

Eight channel changes.

Georgia 31, Virginia Tech 24       (MOV: 7 points)

Carolina 31, New Orleans 21     (MOV: 10 points)

At one point, the hokies led by 18 points.

At one point, i considered seppuku. But at least the saints' key starters got a rest, the pussies.

Wisconsin 17, Arkansas 14       (MOV: 3 points)

Detroit 39, Dallas 31       (MOV: 8 points)

The Badgers' ninth straight win.

I'd be surprised if the cowboys had nine straight players.

Auburn 17, Nebraska 14       (MOV: 3 points)

Houston 14, Cleveland 6       (MOV: 8 points)

OK, this one kinda sucked.

Yet this one still sucked more!

W. Virginia 38, Ga. Tech 35     (MOV: 3 points)

San Diego 27, Arizona 20       (MOV: 7 points)

Last year, the Mountaineers beat Georgia by the same score to end the season. it's subtexts like these that give Brent a musboner.

Fucking team's 14–2 and will probably lose to the Chiefs in the conference championship.

Texas Tech 44, Minnesota 41   (MOV: 3 points)

Philadelphia 24, Atlanta 17       (MOV: 7 points)

Biggest comeback in college bowl history. (31 points.)

Biggest buncha bullshit that happens at the end of every NFL regular season; Andy Reid pulled his starters once Dallas crapped the hammock, giving fans in Philly exactly what the fans in Houston paid for.

Texas 26, Iowa 24       (MOV: 2 points)

ny giants 34, washington 28     (mov: 6 points)

each team had at least five plays of 20 or more yards.

tiki barber looked like a college running back. the redskins looked like the dippy cheerleader who blows the college running back.

miami 21, nevada 20       (mov: 1 point)

Pittsburgh 23, Cincinnati 17       (MOV: 6 points)

We're already into the one-point college differentials and the nfl's still stuck at six. Fucking wankers.

Overtime sure, but in college football national champions don't follow up with .500 seasons. they follow up with pot busts.

Boston College 25, Navy 24       (MOV: 1 point)

Kansas City 35, Jacksonville 30 (MOV: 5 points)

The same walk-on kicker who earlier missed an extra point that would have made it an eventual tie kicked the game-winning field goal instead.

Give the NFL this one. Jax came bax from 18 points down to nearly thwart the 75 improbable developments that propelled KC into the playoffs…where half the league gets to play for a championship. (damn! i almost made it.)

Oregon State 39, Missouri 38       (MOV: 1 point)

Indianapolis 27, Miami 22       (MOV: 5 points)

Before Boise State made it cool, the Beavs went for the win on a 2-point conversion with 0:23 remaining.

Nick Saban's parting dump before single-handedly ruining college football forever. Scoring ended with 12 minutes to go in the game.

Boise State 43, Oklahoma 42       (MOV: 1 point)

San Francisco 26, Denver 23   (MOV: 3 points)

The Broncos spit the typical Cinderella bit and actually finish, going for the win on a 2-point modified statue of liberty play.

Now we're talking. The Niners' nail a game-winning field goal in overtime that sends them into the playoffs. Wait, that sends Kansas City into the playoffs. Way to pay it forward, san fran!