I'm not too cool to admit excitement at meeting someone famous, it's just never happened. But when I shook the hand of the single most monumental figure of my youth... the greatest quarterback in the history of non-model-banging quarterbacks... the man on whose rookie card I spent over $100 the moment I could afford to... for a brief moment I was as close as I've ever come to being the star-struck, monkey-humping douche bag that Bill Simmons is his every working day. Then he started talking about his kids and being old and stuff and I tuned out. But I'll remember that one brief moment for as long as I—holy crap, there's Heidi Montag!!!